In a conversation with invisible readers about family and marriage, I mentioned that the stamp in a passport is not a form of a marriage contract, but rather a divorce agreement. The same goes for employment. Moreover, when an employee is hired, they are like a “bride,” while the employer is the “groom.” The motivations and methods of achieving goals for both the employee and the employer are quite similar. The employer tends to favor a “common-law marriage” — under-the-table payments, the ability to fire whenever they want, and the option to walk away if the employee faces any issues (literally or figuratively, meaning if there are problems). On the other hand, the employee seeks the “stamp in their labor book,” as this stamp provides them with guarantees in the event of a “divorce” from their job.
So, the main idea is this: you should think about resignation from the very first day of employment. Any job can end in dismissal, and this applies to everyone except for a narrow segment of workers who are “waiting to retire” and are not let go for moral and ethical reasons. If we are engaged in this kind of strategic planning, we should also plan how we will part ways with our employer.
What does an employee need when leaving a job? Good references, a smooth process, paid compensation, and even a severance package.
What does an employer need? A good employee who won’t be fired, smooth business processes, and cost savings.
At first glance, a gentle termination process seems at odds with an employer’s reluctance to part ways with an employee, and saving costs appears contradictory to paying out severance packages. However, it is possible to find a way to meet the needs of both parties, primarily the employer’s, to the benefit of the employee.
So, the script for the perfect resignation looks like this:
1. You announce your intention to leave before you start looking for a new job or, at the very least, pretend that you haven’t started looking yet.
2. You agree that during the time you are looking for a new job, you will train and onboard your replacement, but no later than the agreed deadline (so that the HR team will be motivated to find a candidate quickly).
3. In exchange for your loyalty, you ask for good recommendations.
4. As an incentive to support the new employee after their start, and in the absence of any hostile actions on your part (such as poaching colleagues or leaking information), you hint that you would be open to receiving some kind of bonus a couple of months after your departure. This should not come across as blackmail. It can be framed as an example from a friend’s life, who also parted ways with their employer in a very amicable manner. “Moreover,” you might say, “I’m not confident that I will find a job in time, and some support from you would really help me.”
In order for point number 1 of this scenario to be realized, you need to be a truly good employee and a person who is trusted. Paradoxically, to resign well, you have to work very well. Employers! Pay close attention to your best employees. They might be delivering outstanding work, but they could also be adding yet another entry to their resumes.
There is an approach among employers that if someone resigns, they should be let go on the same day, given a box with their belongings, and told “goodbye.” However, there are two aspects to consider: a) this does not apply to truly valuable employees, despite all the claims of the management’s uncompromising stance, and b) you don’t say that you are leaving; instead, you say that you will be leaving and, in order to avoid job hunting behind their back and behaving dishonestly, you want to discuss this matter in advance. Recommendations from your current job while searching for a new one are a particular delicacy for recruiters.
The reasons for resignation should not be material. Material reasons can only apply if you have an offer with a salary that is twice as high. But that’s not our case. An employee should feel a lack of growth and responsibility, and they can “sell” their boss the argument of lacking growth:
— Ivan Ivanovich, it’s very important for me to know your opinion about me. What do I need to improve in my work, and what do you like?
(By the way, this kind of dialogue is also good for discussing a salary increase.)
— (Ivan Ivanovich praises). If Ivan Ivanovich doesn’t praise, then we haven’t met the condition of “being the best.”
— Ivan Ivanovich! Ruslan, my direct supervisor, has taught me a lot in my work, and I really value and respect him. I think you feel the same way about him, don’t you?
— (Ivan Ivanovich agrees. If Ivan Ivanovich does not agree, one can try to “sell” their career advancement and undermining Ruslan. This is a separate “sale” that I won’t elaborate on here.)
— I feel like I’m going through a growth crisis and I’m becoming less productive. Just from a human perspective, can you tell me if I have options to develop at this stage in the company?
— (If there are options, that’s good, let him present them, but make sure to demand deadlines.)
— Ivan Ivanovich! The reason I initiated this conversation is that I’m thinking about starting to look for a new job. I haven’t started searching yet, but I really want to maintain the best possible relationship with you, so I want to discuss this with you in advance. You need to organize the handover of my responsibilities, and in general, manage my departure in a way that won’t affect the morale of the team. What do you think? Should I announce this right away, or wait until I have some options lined up?
— (Ivan Ivanovich’s response is of no concern to you)
— Thank you, Ivan Ivanovich, for your understanding. I completely agree with you that it’s better to announce my still prospective plans at the next meeting (Option 2: not to say anything to anyone for now). I think two (or four) months will be enough for us to sort everything out. A specific date is necessary for you as well, to avoid overspending on salaries for both me and my successor, and for me to understand when I will need to leave.
Don’t think that your announcement should infuriate your boss. What will upset him is an unexpected departure, not a well-planned one like this. Additionally, in the eyes of your future employer, you will appear to be a responsible employee who doesn’t “let down” the company. If your boss values you, he will also try to keep you (although I wouldn’t recommend it—once you’re out, you’re out) and will see your advance notice as a heads-up, giving him time to come up with a “sweet deal.”
Your sincere discussion of your promising—note, promising—plans encourages reciprocal honesty and a businesslike, rather than emotional, approach. The 2-4 month timeframe works in your favor, as you will leave as soon as you find a new job, but no later than that period. And the boss will lose you before that deadline, not after.
If you have a job offer ready, set the deadline for transitioning to the new job as far out as possible, for example, 3-4 weeks. You are a responsible employee, and you need to “wrap up your affairs.” Your new employers don’t want to hire someone who jumps around, right? So let them not rush you. The longer they wait, the more reliable person they are bringing into their team.
You shouldn’t tell your current employer that you already have an offer. Instead, say that you are “planning to look for a job,” rather than that you’ve already found one and are just giving your boss a heads-up to avoid any surprises. Moreover, you can add, “The market is small, and it would be awkward if you found out about my job search from someone else instead of me. It might seem like you’re not in control of the situation, Ivan Ivanovich. The last thing I want to do is put you in a difficult position.”
If your manager is, let’s say, “principled and uncompromising,” you still won’t be able to establish a good relationship with them, and you should leave as soon as possible to find an employer who can recommend you in the future according to the scenario described above. Don’t waste your life on a job that won’t provide you with a strong reference for your resume.
This approach to termination maximally satisfies the needs of both the employee and the employer, and serves as a beautiful illustration of how “sales skills” can be useful even in situations that seem far removed from sales.