Anarchism: Everyone takes a salt shaker for themselves and adds as much salt as they want.
Democracy: Everyone votes for the right amount of salt, and they all season it in the same unpleasant way for everyone.
European consensus: Everyone takes a long time to negotiate how much salt each person needs. In the meantime, the food gets covered in mold.
American democracy: Everyone is choosing between lemon juice and sugar. A couple of people are passing the salt shaker under the table.
Ukrainian democracy: Everyone takes turns grabbing the salt shaker from each other and adding salt until it gets taken away. The excess salt is then attempted to be sold.
Russian democracy: Salt is a fiction. You choose pepper.
Belarusian democracy: It says “salt” on the pepper shaker.
Turkish democracy: Anyone can easily get their salt. You just need to whisper to the neighbor at the table, who knows another neighbor, who has seen someone last take the salt shaker somewhere.
British democracy: At the referendum, they spend a long time figuring out which waiter to ask for salt. The waiters patiently wait and watch the clock.
Swiss democracy: Store the salt from neighboring tables. Decide on the shape of the salt shaker in a referendum.
Socialism: Some decide how much salt each person needs.
Soviet Socialism: The Salt Chooses You
European socialism: A group emerges that keeps track of how many grains of salt each person has and who needs to transfer grains back to whom. The counters are constantly licking their fingers.
National Socialism: The source of the salt’s origin is thoroughly checked. The incorrect salt is buried in the yard.
Fascism: In the name of salt, they compose hymns, hold parades, and declare war on neighboring tables over their rightful salt shakers. Their salt is declared sacred and is not shared with anyone.
Communism: There is no salt. But all the salt is shared equally.
Dictatorship of the proletariat: Salt is taken from everyone and exchanged for an old pot.
Cambodia: Salt, theoretically, could be in short supply for everyone. That’s why half of those sitting at the table are eliminated. The rest still don’t get any salt.
The Chinese “Great Leap Forward.” They are trying to extract salt from urine without leaving their table.
Totalitarianism: One person takes all the salt for themselves.
Arab totalitarianism. The one who took the salt gives a little bit of salt to his friends and relatives.
Greece: You need to borrow some salt from the neighboring table and keep the salt shaker for yourself. The salt is returned collectively afterward.
Central America: Salt is laid out on the table in lines. After the shootout, the survivor sniffs out the salt.
Sicily: You ask me for salt, but you do it without respect…
Monarchy: The salt belongs to one person. It was passed down to him by his father.
Vatican: God has given this man salt.
Israel: God has given salt only to us, but we don’t have any. And don’t come back.
Palestine: The Jews took our salt!
Arab monarchy: Check out our salt shaker!
Martial law: Salt by ration cards.
African dictatorship: Anyone who can reach the salt shaker can use the salt. The others have had their hands cut off.
African democracy: There’s no salt. It keeps getting passed around from the neighboring table, but it disappears somewhere. For some unknown reason, one of the people at the table is constantly thirsty.