In sales, there are three distinct approaches: transactional, consultative, and strategic. To understand the differences between them, let’s take the example of selling insurance. Transactional selling is what you see when you’re offered “OSAGO” (mandatory car insurance in Russia). The text for translation: [1]. “In 5 minutes.” Transactional selling does not require the seller to have specialized sales skills. They simply meet demand. This is how cigarettes, gasoline, and food in supermarkets are sold. In these types of sales, the product’s characteristics are clear to the buyer before the purchase, and they can often accurately assess the product based on its appearance. A product that the buyer does not like can easily be returned, and the purchase price is usually insignificant. All sales where the buyer is compelled to make a purchase for some reason fall into the transactional category, leading them to look for the cheapest option rather than the best one. Additionally, most manipulative sales techniques are effective in transactional deals, where emotions, rather than reason, play a decisive role. The seller only needs basic math skills and to know how to operate a cash register. Even language skills are not necessary. Sellers in such a market are “hired.” When we talk about the sexual market, transactional deals are driven by the feeling of lust—a fundamental reproductive instinct that gives us pleasure from sex itself.
Consultative selling occurs when a product has distinctive features and is complex. This is the case with Auto-CASCO insurance. [2]. There are many conditions and exceptions. Different options for insurance coverage exist, and it’s important to understand what a “deductible” is and how a “payment” differs from “reimbursement.” In this case, the seller earns more because they provide consulting services to the buyer, and the buyer pays for this service as part of the price included in the product. The seller is required to have a thorough knowledge of their product, the ability to engage in conversation with the client by asking questions, and the skill to uncover the client’s needs and provide a solution. Typically, the buyer has limited options for returning the product, the price is high, and all its properties are revealed only after use begins. The seller’s job here is to persuade the buyer to make their choice. Emotions and manipulation are more likely to harm the sale, although they may help the seller at the beginning of the negotiation process. [3]. In consultative sales, concepts such as trial batches, “test drives,” recommendations, and other methods are used to allow the client to evaluate a complex product before making a purchase. Sellers in this market are recruited or poached from competitors. In the sexual market, consultative sales correspond to attraction—a more complex behavioral response that compels us to single out a particular partner from others and desire to possess them specifically, as they possess certain distinguishing traits or beneficial qualities that are important to us.
Strategic selling is about selling solutions. In the context of insurance sales, it involves discussions with business owners about risk management solutions for their companies. This type of sale takes a significant amount of time and requires the seller to understand not just the product, but the client’s business as well. In strategic sales, there isn’t a tangible product per se; instead, there is a decision-making process that impacts the company’s future and its long-term business strategy. Even if the decision is manifested in a physical form, such as a “new CNC machine,” it still necessitates changes in business processes, suppliers, and personnel.
When making a strategic purchase, the buyer is not in a state of coercion; they cannot be easily convinced. On the contrary, they are in a position where they can persuade anyone of the correctness of their decision. A seller engaged in strategic selling should not rely on manipulative techniques or appeal to the emotions or subconscious state of the client. The strategic sales process is lengthy enough for the buyer to recognize when and how they are being manipulated. Therefore, the seller must possess a level of knowledge and development that allows them to engage with the business owner on issues and solutions relevant to their business, rather than discussing the pleasant weather or the fact that it’s the director’s birthday and there’s a promotion in place. Such sellers are rare, and companies can only hope to have them on their team. They cannot be “hired” in the traditional sense, nor can they be easily poached or recruited.
Strategic sales in the sexual market, just like in any other market, take a long time and are aimed at building long-term relationships between the buyer and the seller. Few people can, without letting emotions take over, understand why they are getting married and articulate anything more than “because I want him/her.” If we draw direct analogies with instinctual behavior, a good sign of a strategic deal is the presence of love and attachment between partners—a situation where one sees the partner primarily as a friend and companion, rather than as an object of exploitation or a provider of certain benefits.
It’s important to note that a seller is more effective the higher up they operate in the sales process. Many companies have entire sales departments, but between 50% and 90% of all sales are made by the company’s leader or a group of leaders. Naturally, they handle strategic sales and engage with decision-makers. Meanwhile, the entire department is often occupied with consultative sales, interacting at the level of purchasing departments or even secretaries, and with a larger number of contacts, they end up closing far fewer deals. In fact, there would be no deals at all in the absence of active demand if the salespeople were focused on transactional sales.
An interesting phenomenon is occurring in the sexual market. Women, who are accustomed to a high demand from men in their youth, often do not bother to move beyond transactional sales and explore the “product” they are selling in order to transition to a level of consultative or even strategic sales. After all, strategic sales require knowledge not just of the product, but of the client and their needs. From the perspective of a business plan for reproduction, sales should indeed occur at a strategic level, as the decision to reproduce is irreversible; it changes one’s lifestyle or “business processes,” and the “product” being sold is merely a tool to achieve a goal, not the goal itself.
For men, the process is the opposite. Faced with high competition in their youth, they quickly learn the art of consultative selling, unless they are exceptionally handsome. This involves courting and showcasing all their masculine qualities, from the ability to provide for a family to physical strength and the skill to engage in meaningful conversation. However, as the demand for men increases, many of them resort to “transactional” selling. After all, a man, more so than a woman, has the option to continue his life without participating in the upbringing of the children he has biologically fathered.
If women need to be absolutely certain that their partner meets their needs 100%, since they cannot have many children or give birth to children simultaneously with different men, a man always has a “second chance.” And a third chance. In fact, he can have as many offspring as he wants, depending on how many women he can impregnate throughout his life. For a man, the biological consequences of sex are not as dramatic as they are for a woman. This doesn’t mean that a man doesn’t make strategic decisions. The optimal reproductive strategy for a man likely involves choosing a “strategic partner” to have his main offspring with, but at the same time, nothing stops him from trying to reproduce whenever the opportunity arises.
If society sets the task for a woman to “get married,” or if a woman wants to do this for her own reasons, she should position herself as a strategic partner and engage in strategic selling, especially since this approach is more effective than others in the absence of active demand for the product. However, as mentioned earlier, many women do not move beyond the level of “transactional selling,” and their main thoughts in communication with men revolve around the dilemma of “to give or not to give.” If you ask such women what they believe attracts men to marriage, they quickly respond with “free and accessible sex,” demonstrating, on one hand, the persistence of the stereotype of female commodification (genitals in exchange for support) and, on the other hand, a complete lack of understanding of the “client’s business.” After all, no rational man would describe sex in marriage as “free” or “accessible.”
Often, as women reach maturity, they start to ponder what men want from them and turn to consultative selling. They begin to see themselves as complex products that are only evaluated after long-term use, carefully positioning themselves based on their unique advantages and distinguishing features. For example, “the ability to perfectly darn socks,” “cooking delicious borscht,” or “performing prostate massages.” However, this is not strategic selling. Everything a woman can offer as a caregiver, “mommy,” or “prostitute” can be successfully obtained from other sources by men. Moreover, the optimal solution would be to diversify suppliers. Why endure a fantastic sock darner if her cooking is subpar? It turns out that a man is essentially “buying” a universal household appliance, which is already degrading for a woman, but in any universality, there is no ideal, and he ultimately gets less than he expected for the same money. Furthermore, any business would consider it an unacceptable risk to depend on a single supplier, who thus gains power over the business, and whose risks automatically become the buyer’s risks. Consequently, the “unique characteristics” that a woman tries to sell are not only not unique but also lead to a rational business behavior in men—an ongoing search for alternative suppliers.
Men face significant challenges as well. They too must evolve towards “strategic” sales if they want to reproduce successfully and pass on their genes to the next generation. However, as mentioned earlier, they tend to shift towards transactional sales as they age. Over time, they realize that they are valuable commodities in the sexual market and that even when married, they can still supply themselves in this market, and there will still be demand. Paradoxically, in modern conditions, this does not allow them to reproduce effectively or at all. What “strategic” woman would want to have a long-term relationship with a “transactional” man and engage in unprotected sex with him? Which family wouldn’t fall apart due to the revelation of infidelity? As a result of family breakdown, children who lack involvement from one parent inevitably lose their competitive advantages in the sexual market of the next generation, which reduces the likelihood of effectively passing on genes to their grandchildren.
In essence
There are three types of interaction: transactional, consultative, and strategic. It’s important to be able to distinguish between them and use the appropriate one depending on the situation.
• Men and women exhibit different behaviors in the sexual market. Behavior evolves with age. A good deal is struck between partners who share similar behaviors, whether transactional or strategic.
• Borscht and sex are not what attracts men to marriage.