One can ponder for a long time about whom to trust and whom not to. I’ve come to realize that sometimes you can trust a passing stranger more than someone close to you. Why? A stranger is indifferent to you, while close people inevitably share some of your resources. Even if the only shared resource is your time (attention), there is always a potential for conflict, envy, jealousy, and disputes. I had an acquaintance who was a notary, and for people he knew well, he could simplify the process of formalizing contracts. For instance, for the convenience of clients, he didn’t require both parties to be present in his office at the same time when closing a deal.
He could also, trusting you, finalize a deal on behalf of another person whose voice he heard over the phone. He could do this, but with one condition: relatives cannot be involved in the transactions.
When asked why he follows such a principle, the answer was simple: “Believe me, strangers will part ways, but relatives always have something to divide, and the most terrible and vicious legal cases always involve family.” From all this, I realized that a good “trust test” could be the presence of unfounded distrust towards you at the very early stages of a relationship. Criminally inclined people are a minority, and if your partner doesn’t trust you, it means their thoughts are flowing in a rather specific direction. As I mentioned earlier, the partner has no reason not to trust. If they do distrust you, then it means they have their reasons. The question arises: are they perhaps contemplating something wrong in relation to you?
It turns out to be a very practical formula: Trust is mutual. It’s worth losing trust in a person who unjustifiably loses trust in you. If trust is lost for a valid reason, the partner will end the relationship themselves. This rule has helped me a lot in life, and I often, to the surprise of those around me, stepped back even from very attractive deals. As it turned out, I was often right.