If you read these four posts ( 1. ,. 2. The text for translation: ,. 3. The text for translation: ,. 4. ), then the formula for the correct emotional impact on a subordinate will emerge on its own. We’ll piece it together a bit later. First, I will provide three pieces of advice that you won’t find in those posts.
First of all, even an acoustic outburst is inappropriate. By yelling, you lower yourself to the same level as the people you are shouting at. This results in a loss of authority and, at best, instills a sense of fear in your subordinates. There is nothing worse than missing important matters and hindering the business simply because people are afraid to come into your office.
Secondly, increasing the amplitude of acoustic vibrations is still appropriate, but as a demonstration of your distress and the degree of that distress. Now, imagine that you are very upset about some event. Do you scream? It depends on the event. If you lost your wallet, then no, but if you hurt your finger, then yes. In this case, no one is shy about swearing. Moreover, the scream is not directed at the person responsible, but at the event itself. You might even throw something if things are really bad and you just want to lash out.
People seem to need to know how you feel about the topic at hand. Strangely enough, people tend to be empathetic. However, they don’t need to know exactly what you think of them because a) it’s an emotional response, and therefore not a valid one, b) it labels them with unfounded assertions, and c) it’s unproductive in terms of future work outcomes—it can be demotivating.
Thirdly, it’s better to remain a leader and not let your emotions take over. People should know that even if something upsets you, it doesn’t throw you off course, and you always know what to do in any situation and how to move forward. This advice is of little help. It’s an internal mindset that won’t come to mind when molten metal is pouring down your back. Nevertheless, I mention it because I want to understand the ideal. Also, it’s well known that a “cold shower” is better than any shout.
Now we are merging/integrating.
- Relationships. You are all adults. Subordinates are not children to be bossed around, and you are not their parents. Respect people. If they make a mistake, it’s not intentional. If you see malicious intent, then reprimanding is no longer an appropriate tool.
- There’s no need to throw around bare epithets like Dr. Bykov from “Interns.” And if you do, it should be in Dr. Bykov’s style, so it’s clear that it’s very unpleasant but still humor. You need to describe the situation as it is and outline the consequences of that situation as they are. (See the post about praise.)
- A person needs to feel remorse and a genuine desire to correct the problem. They should not perceive criticism as a way to atone for their wrongdoing.
- Just provide the information. One simple, quiet phrase like “you’re late” is enough! No need for “shots to the head.” He’ll pressure himself enough already.
- It’s not worth doing this in public.
- Use the epistolary genre. Nowadays, when everyone has email, a composed letter detailing the problem and its consequences can be more effective and memorable than a verbal discussion in an office. Moreover, documents are taken more seriously.
- Talk more about phenomena, not about people.
- Avoid using absolute phrases like “always” or “never.” It’s important to focus on the here and now. For example: “You are always late” or “You will never manage this.” Also, under this point: It’s not advisable to ask “ why “He’ll tell you himself. It’s worth asking how to fix it.”
- Provide options.
As an excessive (since I tried to use all the techniques described above, which is too much) example, instead of saying, “You’re an idiot, a talentless person, a slacker, why didn’t you send the documents on time, I’m asking you!”, we would say: “I am very upset and concerned about the documents. The documents were not sent on time. Companies are often disqualified from participating in tenders precisely because of the late submission of documents. This tender is very important for us and could account for 15% of our plan, helping us avoid unnecessary layoffs. Now we urgently need to contact the client and resolve this issue, and the report will have to be sent by courier, which costs extra money, and we can only hope that everything goes well. I hope you understand what needs to be done.”
As an example from the movie — the same dialogue between Neo and his boss mentioned in the posts linked above.
(RHINEHEART) You have a problem, Mr. Anderson. You think that you’re special. You believe that somehow the rules do not apply to you.
Obviously, you are mistaken. This company is one of the top software companies in the world because every single employee understands that they are a part of a whole. Thus, if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to be at your desk on time from this day forth, or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself clear?
(NEO) Yes, Mr. Rhineheart. Perfectly clear.
Of course, we shouldn’t overlook the perspective of coaching and business processes. It’s likely that mistakes are made, not intentionally, but systematically. In that case, we need to examine the issue, identify the sources of the problem, and address them. It’s not about assigning blame, but rather about helping to rectify the situation.