400 things a child should know

Determination

1. Often, delayed rewards are greater than immediate ones. Much greater. The world around you will constantly tempt you with a treat now instead of a meal later. Cartoons instead of knowledge, overpriced pastries at a fair that cost as much as a home-cooked meal, loans with interest, casual flings instead of relationships, full-price goods instead of fair prices during discount seasons. Good things come to those who know how to wait.
2. Setting goals correctly is important, but the future is, by definition, unpredictable. When setting goals, connect them with your feelings and emotions. What will you feel, see, hear, say, and what emotions will you experience upon achieving your goal? What will you have to give up or what will you lose? Use the technique “ Well-formulated result Пожалуйста, предоставьте текст для перевода.
3. The path to success may not be clear, but it likely lies in the direction that is harder to take (like climbing a mountain in the fog). Ninety percent of success is doing what others are unwilling to do. Most students don’t want to complete extra assignments, delve deeper into the material than what is required for passing the exam, reread their essays, put away toys when they need to focus, or remove distracting apps from their phones. Be the one who is willing to do this and much more. If you adopt this mindset in life, you are almost guaranteed to achieve success.
4. Everything worth doing takes time and effort. This applies to grades, relationships, careers, character, and much more. If you want to achieve something meaningful and valuable in life, there are no shortcuts.
5. A proper strategy for achieving goals is important. If you’re climbing a mountain, you shouldn’t walk along the ridge, as you might fall. And you shouldn’t go through the valley, as you could get caught in a rockfall. The path up the mountain never goes straight; it always winds its way up, either traversing, spiraling, or zigzagging. Before the summit assault in the morning, it’s often helpful to hike halfway up the mountain in the evening and then return.
6. If you don’t have a goal, then it doesn’t matter where you’re going. If it doesn’t matter where you’re going, you’ll wander aimlessly, occasionally changing direction. It’s important to always choose a goal and work towards it, measuring all your activities by whether they help bring you closer to that goal. Along the way, your goals may change. You might realize that other goals are more important to you. But you won’t understand this until you’ve traveled the path you took towards your previous goal. If you didn’t choose your own goal, then someone else chose it for you, and you’re acting in their interests, not your own.
7. When you become an adult, a good job, your own business, your own home, an investment portfolio, a broad outlook, a great figure, and enviable health won’t just appear on their own just because you’ve turned, say, 30. You need to start working on and building all of this right now.
8. An active life stance is important. It is those who believe they can change the world who actually make a difference. Although they face more setbacks than those who choose to live within the existing world.
9. The mathematical solution to the problem of finding a marriage partner shows that the “proposing” partner has an advantage over the “choosing” partner, even though the “proposing” partner automatically faces more rejections, while the “choosing” partner is guaranteed to deal only with those who are already a good match for them. This applies not only to marital behavior but to life in general. Those who choose tend to get more than those who wait to be chosen.
10. Don’t give up. But pay close attention to your goals; you might realize that they no longer suit you. If something is particularly difficult and hasn’t yielded results for a long time, it’s likely that you’re doing something wrong. Check in with yourself. It’s foolish to keep doing the same thing while hoping for a different outcome.
11. If something was effective before but is no longer yielding results, the issue may not be that the process is flawed and needs improvement, but rather that this process or approach is not suitable for the new, changed circumstances.
12. Knowing when to stop is also a feat. A feat is acknowledging a mistake. A feat is recognizing a loss of effort and resources. A feat is not giving in to provocation. Remember that no actions in the present can bring back or justify the resources spent in the past. If you have a ticket to a game but it starts to rain, there’s no need to go just because you feel sorry for the ticket. The money for the ticket has already been spent and can’t be refunded. Your behavior should be as if the ticket was free.
13. There’s little that’s impossible. Often we say “impossible,” meaning “very expensive,” “too much hassle,” or “it will never pay off.” Avoid the word “impossible”; think about how and under what circumstances it can be possible. Even moving faster than light is possible—if we’re talking about the speed of light in a dense medium, for example. “There’s no time,” “there’s no money,” “I can’t”—these are never the truth. You’re simply prioritizing something else.
14. Weak people believe in luck, while strong people believe in causes and effects. Never rely on the idea that you will get lucky. What seems like luck in others often results from hard work or factors beyond chance. Neither Albert Einstein nor Sergei Rachmaninoff were just lucky guys. Luck doesn’t help on its own; it favors those who are prepared for it. Smart people get lucky. Strong people get lucky. You can’t expect to win first prize in a piano competition that unpredictably depends on the moods and preferences of the judges if you haven’t mastered the piano virtuously beforehand. Often, we miss opportunities for luck because we don’t put in even a small amount of effort to prepare for it. Set “traps” for luck on your way to your main goals. Think about how “waste” or “by-products” from your main activities can help you. For example, you might earn a living delivering pizza by bike, and then achieve success in a cycling championship if you make the most of the training opportunities that arise, rather than complaining about not having money for an electric bike.
15. Poor people work for the rich because the rich tell them stories about achieving success through hard work. Neither Bill Gates, nor Steve Jobs, nor Elon Musk are examples of those who achieved everything solely through their own hard work.
16. Dreams are an illusion. Pleasant daydreams that distract from achieving goals. It’s better not to dream, but to make plans. The difference between a goal and a dream is that a goal has a deadline.
17. Beware of your dreams. They almost always come true. But, in most cases, it happens in a way that you won’t like the outcome. Formulate your dreams carefully. When we dream of something, we often only see the advantages of achieving that dream or wish, but we overlook the downsides. No, the fish don’t bite better on the other side. And where we are not, it’s not always better.
18. Don’t let the next day be just like the previous one. If you lived a day exactly the same as any other from your past, it means you didn’t really live. You wasted one of the days of your life. It’s a very useful habit to ask yourself before going to sleep how your day went, what new things you learned or did, how you improved, whom you helped, how your day made a difference in others’ lives, and what lessons you took away from it.
19. It’s a very useful habit to create a daily or weekly schedule, stick to it, and then analyze the results to see what worked and what didn’t. Keeping a journal or writing letters to your future self is also a very beneficial practice.
20. Don’t talk about your plans. Your brain might decide that the plans have already come true. Remember, a loser is someone who tells everyone what they will do when they achieve success, while a winner is someone who knows what they will do if they don’t succeed, but keeps it to themselves.
21. There is no meaning in life. And even less in death. We ourselves fill life with meanings and interests. In general, the feeling that something must have a meaning, a purpose, a will—this is a byproduct of our thinking, a mistake of consciousness. Stars do not shine because someone needs them to. A squirrel does not gather nuts to survive the winter. It doesn’t have the brainpower to foresee winter.
22. Freedom is not the ability to do something just because you can do it.
23. If you don’t create the meaning of your life yourself, then your life will become someone else’s meaning, for example, your parents’. The world is full of people who lived their lives according to what their parents told them: they studied, found a job, started a family and had children, built a career. And then they hit a midlife crisis because their parents didn’t provide any instructions on how to live beyond that. It turned out just like in Harry Potter, where some hat chooses a student’s house instead of the student choosing for themselves.
24. Find goals that inspire you and give you a sense of purpose and usefulness. Don’t choose material wealth, ownership of things, or recognition from others as your life goals. These are not goals; they are means to your true objectives. Don’t focus on goals that others have, don’t follow the crowd, don’t value something just because everyone else does, and don’t strive to have more than your neighbor. If you go against the flow, your path will be clear and free of people. If you need to commute to work every day, it’s more convenient to live in the city center and work on the outskirts, so your commute will be easier. If your life values and priorities don’t align with what is accepted and common in society, this can bring you more freedom and satisfaction. Imagine yourself as a traveler, walking your own path away from the noise and hustle of the majority. You are not bound by conventional norms and expectations, and instead, you gain the opportunity to live sincerely and fully according to your own values and aspirations. This gives you the freedom to choose your priorities, pursue your passions, and grow in directions that are truly important to you.
25. Agree that you don’t control most of what happens around you. All you have is an illusion of control. You can bury a cherry pit in the ground, water it, and wait for a cherry tree to grow. But you can’t make a pumpkin grow from a cherry pit. Happy endings in Hollywood style never happen in real life. It’s extremely rare for people to achieve a fairy-tale ending of “they lived happily ever after.” Therefore, your success doesn’t have to be absolute.
26. Often we think we are in control of things that actually control us. If something requires your control, it ties you to it rather than the other way around. A businessman can’t take a vacation for fear of what will happen to the company. A dog owner walking their dog on a leash is doing it for the dog, not for themselves.
27. When planning something, plan backwards. Here’s the goal—what will you do one step before reaching it? What will the previous step be? How much time and resources do you need? What do you need to stock up on, and what can you acquire along the way, and when? A good practice is to make to-do lists and sort them.
28. The more long-term planning you practice, the wiser you become. Humanity was able to leave Africa only when it learned to plan for a year ahead and could store food for the winter instead of consuming everything at once. Ancient civilizations built roads and fortresses that allowed them to implement ten- and twenty-year plans. Space exploration began to yield results after half a century.
29. Planning saves resources. This is important to you. It is important to everyone. Well-planned purchases help avoid wasting money and prevent food from being thrown away that could be useful to someone else. A trip planned in advance saves money both on booking costs and helps avoid unnecessary expenses during the trip. Planning that is not aimed at saving, distributing, or optimizing resources is unnecessary.
30. A good habit is budgeting. Keeping a budget is important when you’re a beginner in something. Once you become more familiar with the subject, you’ll be able to sense the situation without calculations. For example, when you start monitoring your diet, it’s a good idea to keep track of the calories you consume. When you start living independently or move to another country, it’s wise to maintain a record of your expenses and income until your life stabilizes.
31. Plans may not come to fruition. That’s normal. What’s not normal is when they come true 100%. Next time, adjust your plans and assess the risks of not meeting them based on your past experiences. There are things you can’t control. It just rains. But it’s up to you how you respond—whether you take an umbrella, splash through the puddles without one, or stay home.
32. In uncertain conditions, when you can’t account for possible circumstances, plans are nothing more than fantasies. It’s much wiser not to act according to an outdated plan, but to have a good set of strategies, an understanding of the opportunities to seize, and the dangers to avoid.
33. Don’t adjust your plans under the pressure of new circumstances, and don’t take into account any previous plans. If you find yourself in a situation that makes your plans unfeasible, just forget about them and create new plans from scratch. Goals can change too, and that’s perfectly fine.

Study.

34. It’s important to learn how to learn. In fact, it’s even more important than learning itself. What you memorize now matters less than your ability to quickly and effectively learn something new or relearn something you’ve forgotten. Employers value people with a good higher education precisely because they are capable of learning. The education you receive won’t make you all-knowing; rather, it will likely make you less confident in your knowledge, as you’ll become more aware of what you don’t know. The skill of learning how to learn will be useful to you throughout your life, not just until you finish your education.
35. Knowledge is power. Magical thinking is a chasm. Education is not about memorization or a “diploma,” but about understanding connections. All knowledge should be contextualized and interlinked. Otherwise, it won’t create a coherent worldview, but rather something fragmented. Harry Potter A good higher education in the natural sciences provides an indescribable advantage over others and makes it harder to manipulate you.
36. Grades in school mean nothing. A five is actually bad—you have nothing left to work on, and you’ve outgrown that level. A two or a three are great indicators of where to go next.
37. The lesson material should be reviewed before the class, not after, so that you can clarify anything you didn’t understand during the lesson.
38. Before you start solving a problem, understand and visualize its conditions. What do you have, what do you need to find out, what is missing, and how can you derive what is lacking from the given conditions? Are the conditions clearly describing the situation, or are there possible interpretations? Summarize the problem statement to yourself. Make a drawing. A well-understood condition is a significant part of solving the problem, just as a well-formulated question already contains much of the answer.
39. If the lesson seems boring, think about what question you can ask the teacher. Ask that question. The lesson will become personal to you.
40. Always take the front seat. Especially when everyone else sits in the back. Always be the first to respond to the teacher’s initiative when they are looking for a volunteer to come to the board. Always go first for exams if there’s a line. In general, if everyone is expected to do something that causes fear or embarrassment, do it first. You won’t gain anything by waiting.
41. If you only know the material from the textbook and the lesson, your well-deserved grade will be “satisfactory,” regardless of what grade the teacher gives you. Grades of “good” and “excellent” are achieved when you delve a little deeper into the subject. Learning something just to pass a test or exam or to write a quiz is pointless. You should learn to truly understand it and be able to use it. Then, passing the exam will be easy and without unnecessary effort.
42. The knowledge you acquire can only be truly absorbed when you have understood and mastered the previous concepts. A small gap now can snowball into a mountain of ignorance later. Focus on understanding the material, not just preparing for exams. Distinguish between real knowledge and rote memorization. Differentiate knowledge from opinion. You often hear that “we should respect others’ opinions.” No, we shouldn’t. Neither someone else’s opinion nor your own is worthy of respect or attention. What matters is knowledge.
43. Don’t involve your parents in your homework. Your studies should improve you, not them. Only ask your parents for help in understanding something after you’ve tried to find the answer online and couldn’t.
44. You will always enjoy doing what you are good at. And you will learn to do things faster than others if you like what you’re doing. Your advantage over others is that you already know how to do something well. Focus on that. At the same time, there will always be someone who is smarter or more talented than you, and yes, that’s great. But if that person is so smart that they slack off in school and university, over time you will see that those who are less intelligent but more diligent will surpass them, thanks to the knowledge and experience they have accumulated. Skills and experience cannot be gained solely through intelligence; practice is required. Youth is given to us to accumulate potential, but it passes quickly, and there comes a time when that potential needs to be realized, and this period can easily be missed if you are not attentive. If you want to become a master at something, remember: research shows that regardless of how talented a person is at the start, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to reach a world-class level. That’s like three hours a day for ten years. No matter who you want to become—an athlete, a musician, or a writer—this principle applies. So dedicate time to your craft every day, and the results will come!
45. The brain has neuroplasticity, just like muscles, and is capable of adapting to the tasks it is most frequently required to perform. It will be difficult for you to engage in activities that are beneficial and necessary for you if your brain is trained for completely different activities, such as scrolling through social media or playing video games. Not everything you enjoy doing is useful. Moreover, anything that is not useful will hinder your ability to successfully engage in beneficial activities, not only because you will have less time for them, but also because you will become less and less equipped to do those useful things. If you don’t keep your brain in shape, it will deteriorate. If you don’t challenge your brain with new tasks, it will forget how to create new neural connections. The brain conserves resources and always tries to solve a new problem using old neural connections. The most important skill of the brain is the ability to create new neural connections, which is what we refer to as “learning how to learn.”
46. Be curious, experiment, and gain experience. Try new things. Don’t be afraid to do what you don’t know how to do and what you haven’t been taught. Strive to understand how the things around you are made and how they work. Every object has an intriguing story of invention, struggles with problems and mistakes, and the discovery of new solutions.
47. When familiarizing yourself with a particular doctrine or theory, assess whether you can come up with an event or phenomenon that would disprove it. If you can’t find such an event, then that doctrine or theory is not useful. A theory that can explain anything and everything does not allow you to use it to evaluate future events, as, according to that same theory, any outcome is possible. The inability to disprove a doctrine does not serve as evidence of its truth. For example, it is impossible to prove that God does not exist. One can always argue that He is invisible or that He is somewhere else, not in the sky. However, this can be easily disproven by simply presenting God. On the other hand, the assertion that God exists cannot be disproven at all. For you, this means that you should not consider the possibility of God’s existence when planning your actions, regardless of whether you believe in Him or not. Additionally, explaining past events as the actions of a deity will not allow you to establish causal relationships that would help you make decisions in the future.
48. Avoid categorical thinking. Instead of memorizing absolute characteristics of things, it’s more convenient for us to break everything down into categories and think in those terms. Reasoning in categories allows us to better remember and evaluate things in various situations. The downside of this approach is that if you focus too much on the boundaries, you miss the bigger picture. All a person thinking this way sees are categories. If you get too fixated on categories, you might overlook the differences between objects within the same category and overestimate the differences between objects in two different categories. Categories and their boundaries exist only in our minds, and any rules based on categories are flawed. And definitely do not categorize people or use any theories that categorize individuals.
49. Learn to use a computer. Learn to program. Any stereotypical task deserves to be delegated to a computer instead of doing it yourself. Any calculations, any data manipulations can be automated.
50. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes and admit to them. Making mistakes is normal. Even if you’re worried about losing your authority in someone else’s eyes, it’s better to quickly acknowledge your mistake, and soon everyone will forget about it. But if you defend yourself, argue, or blame others or circumstances, you’ll make people remember what happened. The more complex the work, the more it can be described not as a chain of achievements, but as a chain of mistakes and miscalculations. Those who try to hide their mistakes appear pitiful. Those who lament their mistakes seem ridiculous. A confident professional is someone who talks about their mistakes. Be the master of your bad news. Mistakes are your experience. For every one who has been beaten, ten who haven’t are given. The only person who doesn’t make mistakes is the one who does nothing. Before discussing or analyzing your mistakes, find their source and reason for yourself. Learn the lesson. But to have the right to make mistakes, don’t do anything carelessly, just to get it over with, in a frivolous manner, or half-heartedly.
51. The benefits of mistakes are overrated. You already know what not to do, but you still don’t know how to do it right. There’s also little point in studying ways to do something incorrectly; the number of those methods is, by definition, infinite. What’s important is knowing how to do it correctly. Other people’s success stories won’t teach you anything either. The mistakes described in them weren’t critical to that success, and we won’t learn what exactly to avoid in order to achieve success. Unfortunately, no one will write a book about how and why they failed at something.
52. Usually, the first and obvious answer to the question “why” is incorrect. Most people stop at one level of “why.” Some go two levels deep, but often they get stuck: why do butterflies fly? Because they flap their wings. And why do they flap their wings? To fly. Very few dig deeper. Meanwhile, the first group is much more confident in their understanding of the world. But the latter are capable of seeing further into the future.
53. The state is a bandit and does not wish you well. No one wants you to be educated beyond being able to read orders and calculate your salary. Use school not as a source of knowledge, but as a support in acquiring it. The purpose of any state-subsidized school is to promote the values of that state, the legitimacy of its existence, and the correctness of its actions. Pay attention to the history lessons and textbooks. If bloodthirsty scoundrels and murderers are portrayed as heroes who won battles and built empires, then that is exactly the kind of school it is.
54. Those who say that genius is simple are fundamentally limited individuals. There is nothing simple about Rachmaninoff’s Second Piano Concerto or the theory of relativity. E=mc² is far from simple. Even things that seem straightforward now, like the mandatory hand disinfection for surgeons, were once not obvious at all.
55. You don’t know what you don’t know, and you can’t see the limits of your own knowledge. This means that in other people (and even animals), you only see what is already within you and fail to recognize what exists in them but not in you. As a result, you may think you are smarter than others. The less you know, the more you will believe you are smarter or better than others. Conversely, the more you know, the more you will become aware of and consider the things you don’t know. Xenophobia, for example, and any theories of superiority are natural consequences of ignorance.
56. Most teachers are opportunists and you are not interesting to them. Often, teachers are immature. There are good and genuine teachers who truly want to teach, but they are few and far between. Having even one such teacher in a school is a stroke of luck.
57. To swim, you have to swim. You will never learn something without starting to do it. Learning new skills often initially decreases your productivity. We tend to rush and avoid learning new things, opting instead to do everything the old way because it feels faster in the moment. This is fundamentally the wrong approach. If there is a more efficient way that requires time to learn, invest that time. It is the most worthwhile investment you can make. Skills like mentally calculating large numbers, touch typing, and speed reading are simple abilities that can greatly ease your life and save you time and money.

Time management

58. If you don’t manage the situation, any task will take as much time as you allocate for it. If you’ve been given two weeks to prepare for an exam but feel that a couple of days is enough, you’ll end up doing nothing for the entire two weeks and will start studying on the last evening. Often, arriving at the station too early can lead to missing your train.
59. Homework should be done on the day it is assigned, not the day before it is due. The ability to tackle tasks as they come, rather than waiting until they are urgent, is very important in adult life. It saves a person both energy and nerves, and helps avoid unpleasant surprises, such as lacking the necessary knowledge or resources to solve a problem when time is running out.
60. If you’re finding it hard to start something, begin with small steps. Do a little bit. Then a little more. Even a small amount accomplished is better than nothing at all. Often, the hardest part is just getting started because the amount of work can be overwhelming. Don’t focus on the entire task; look at the small part you can tackle right now. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
61. If you have a lot of tasks to do, write them all down in a list on a piece of paper. Then choose one task from the list, the most unpleasant and annoying one. Rewrite it on the other side of the paper. That’s it. Now you have only one task to focus on. Don’t flip the paper until you’re done. This rule doesn’t apply to exams and tests.
62. If you have a set amount of time to tackle a group of tasks, start with the easiest one. Don’t get stuck on the difficult one. You’ll end up spending all your time on it and won’t solve anything at all. Solving an easy task will inspire you and activate the right mode for your brain.
63. A long wait for results shouldn’t be a reason for you not to start doing something. You might not know a foreign language now and may never know it. But you can start learning it, even if the results will come in two years. It’s also unreasonable, for example, not to gather and submit documents for something just because the results won’t be immediate but will come in a year. It’s much more convenient to wait for that “later” with your papers submitted rather than without them.
64. Often, you won’t have enough time and resources to complete a project all at once. Try breaking it down into stages, where each completed stage will already provide some benefit. It’s acceptable to spend certain resources to finish a stage, even if they may become useless later on when implementing the next stage, assuming everything goes well.
65. Something that works and is useful is always better than a useless unfinished project. Similarly, when destroying something, don’t count on a replacement in the future until that replacement is in your hands. It’s better to replace windows in a house one at a time, even though it’s more expensive than getting rid of all the windows at once and then installing new ones.
66. Don’t put off solving emerging problems. Over time, issues can worsen, or the cumulative effect of unresolved and newly arisen problems can be devastating. Be cautious with “easy” and seemingly obvious solutions. Often, these are not solutions at all, but rather a deferral of the problem that comes with interest. In other words, you’ll end up paying more in the long run. Frequently, the “easy” solution is itself that very debt, as it requires constant application instead of addressing the problem once and for all by putting in a little more effort initially.
67. When you master a complex skill, there will always be actions that you dislike, that are difficult, or that evoke fear or resistance. It is precisely these actions that you need to practice until they become second nature. Don’t be afraid of them. Embrace them. A true professional is recognized by how they handle challenging tasks, not the easy ones.
68. A break is the enemy of productivity. If you’re working on something, try to complete a stage from start to finish without interruptions. Every break means wasting time transitioning out of a working state and then back in again. So, when you’re busy, eliminate all distractions and turn off your phone.
69. Breaks are necessary. You can’t work continuously. Find your rhythm of work and rest, and stick to it. Remember the parable about the lumberjack competition. It wasn’t the one who chopped non-stop who won, but the one who took breaks to sharpen his axe.
70. If you’re studying or doing mental work, give your brain a break during breaks. This means you shouldn’t watch movies, browse the internet, or read books during this time. When you’re consuming information, your brain keeps working, and you won’t be able to recharge for further studying.
71. Daily maintenance is easier than a monthly deep clean of a mess. Preventing illness is easier than treating it. Consistent attention is better than occasional gifts. In general, in any processes, try to distribute the resources you use over time, avoiding peak loads.
72. Value your time — it’s the most precious thing you have. Your goal is not to fill it with work and tasks, but rather to free it up. Before doing something, ask yourself what will happen if it’s not done. If nothing will happen, if someone else is likely to do it, if the outcome doesn’t matter to you and doesn’t affect other tasks, and if the situation is likely to resolve itself without your intervention — don’t do it.
73. The outstanding surgeon Nikolai Pirogov is famous for introducing triage – the preliminary sorting of the wounded into those who can wait, those who can or need to be sent to the hospital, those who need immediate surgery, and those who can no longer be helped. Before Pirogov, all incoming wounded were treated in a sequential and urgent manner. Triage has saved many soldiers’ lives and is still used by all medical professionals today. The moral is that urgency is poison. There are no urgent matters. Each task has its own deadline. Each task has its own cost. Each task has its own probability of success.

Life.

74. We tend to rationalize our past actions, defend the choices we’ve made, and generally seek explanations for what has happened. This is an inherent mechanism for ensuring our happiness. If it breaks down, a person may start to constantly reflect, regret their choices, and dwell on missed opportunities. However, rationalizing and justifying ourselves often makes little sense. It is always difficult to admit when we are wrong.
75. In general, don’t regret the past. And don’t dream about the past. What happened has happened, and that’s a fact. A fact cannot be changed. The past is nothing more than a lesson for the present. Moreover, in most cases, it’s impossible to predict the future by looking at the past. Yes, our brains are wired to look for patterns, and our minds work that way: analyzing the past and trying to predict the future. But this is not a perfect tool and doesn’t, by default, provide reliable results.
76. Our brain does not remember the past. It reconstructs it from the building blocks of the present. Similarly, from the present, we try to build the future. Think of the futuristic paintings by 19th-century artists, depicting men in hats riding pedal-powered airships. Our perception of the past is just as distorted. Two different people will remember the same event differently because they have different present experiences. After attending a performance, you might remember what you liked about it for just a few days. Some memories may last a year. And then, you will only recall the emotion—whether it was a good performance or not. That’s why it’s worth writing down the important things for you: lessons, conclusions, discoveries, and emotions.
77. Don’t go back to old places and old people. Your memories of those places don’t mean that everything is still as good as it seemed back then. The places have changed, you have changed, and the people have either changed or moved on; the bad has been forgotten and only the good is remembered. If you leave, don’t accept offers to stay in exchange for something. If the person who wants to keep you can offer you something better now than what you had before, then why were they deceiving you by not giving it to you right away? Even if promises are kept, you are already ready for change and won’t stay for long anyway.
78. If a solution to a problem exists, then it is not a problem but a task. If it is a problem, then neither you nor the people around you have a solution for it. Why? Because all the obvious ways to solve the problem have either failed or even made it worse. This means only one thing: the solution to the problem must be sought outside of the obvious methods. The most beautiful and complete solution to any problem is often counterintuitive. This often happens because people focus not on the problem itself but on its unpleasant symptoms. You cannot treat appendicitis with painkillers. If there is a problem, you need to look for its cause, and the deeper you can trace the source of the problem through the chain of cause and effect, the less effort will be required to solve it. With an ideal solution, the problem either does not arise at all or the phenomenon ceases to be a problem. Moreover, there are many “unsolvable problems” in the world simply because the “best and most obvious” solution to these problems has been to appoint people who are paid to solve them. In other words, people who are least interested in losing their jobs.
79. Think of life as a journey of avoiding suffering. Complete comfort is death. Embrace the challenges in your life, for it is in them that life reveals itself, and it is what you will remember about yourself many years later. The key is that these challenges should not threaten your health. If people were completely satisfied, we would never have built civilization, never worked, never tried to push boundaries. Some of the best moments in your life will come when you seek discomfort and give yourself the chance to try something new.
80. Don’t seek stability. The world is changing. Stability means stagnation and death. The best kind of stability is dynamic. A cyclist only sits confidently in the saddle when they are pedaling.
81. If you need motivation, you’ll find it among others who are doing the same things as you. If you need to learn, go to the library. If you want to break a bad habit, change your environment where that habit is welcomed, encouraged, or induced. Spend time with people who share the same (or similar) values and goals as you. We are all greatly influenced by the people we surround ourselves with. Surround yourself with those who will inspire you to become better.
82. Our mind is imperfect and constantly makes systematic errors. This is called “cognitive biases.” Study the different types of cognitive biases and continually ask yourself if you’ve fallen into another trap of your own mind.
83. Everything will pass. Your assessments of facts and circumstances, your opinions, and your values will be completely different now and ten years from now. Always try to imagine how you will remember a particular situation ten years later.
84. Don’t complain. You’re not unique in your problems, and most people have learned to live with these circumstances, these people, and these challenges. If your problems are truly unique, then no one will understand your complaints anyway. Often, the reason for your complaints lies in your actions or inaction, and you’ll evoke not sympathy from those around you, but contempt. Many of your complaints can be categorized as first-world problems, and having these issues doesn’t really affect the quality of your life.
85. When talking about yourself, don’t share your problems; instead, talk about how you managed to solve them. Even better, don’t just tell your story—ask your conversation partner if they’ve faced similar challenges and what solutions they found.
86. Train your mindfulness. Cultivate a sense of “here and now.” When you’re going somewhere, try to stop, look around at the people, the buildings, the cars, the sky. Look inside yourself. Who are you, what are you doing, and why? Acknowledge the moment. Enjoy it. Step out of the flow and observe it from the outside. Embrace solitude.
87. Ask yourself throughout the day: “What is important right now?” People often do what they feel like doing in the moment, even if that behavior doesn’t align with their long-term interests. To combat this tendency, keep asking yourself: “What is important right now?” Usually, the answer will be clear.
88. It’s great if you have the opportunity to take one day a week to do nothing. It’s very likely that these will be the happiest, most inspiring, and productive days of your life.
89. Technically, you are immortal. You have no way of surviving your own death. As long as you are aware of yourself, you are alive, and you will never be able to understand that you are already dead.
90. The medication doesn’t work the same for everyone. Each body is unique. However, it helps 90% of people. Experiences also vary from person to person, but you can ask a large group of those who have already had that experience and form your own opinion on whether it’s worth having that experience.
91. Don’t be afraid. Being afraid is foolish. If you’re scared of something, just imagine the worst-case scenario. It’s also the least likely to happen. If things turn out better than that scenario, you’ve already won.
92. In most cases, fear should be seen as a signal to advance rather than retreat. For much of our lives, when we feel fear, we are actually not in any real danger. After all, we usually fear not a tiger, but failure, rejection, public speaking, or disapproval. Thus, fear should generally be viewed as something to move toward, because it offers you the opportunity to grow.
93. In the world, the level of risk is always proportional to the level of potential gain. The higher the risk, the greater the reward. There are no rewards at all if there is no risk. However, only those with deep pockets can afford to play with high stakes. Don’t take risks if the potential losses are unacceptable to you.
94. If you find yourself facing a problem and feeling anxious, ask yourself what exactly you can fix or control. You will almost certainly be able to come up with at least one productive action. Focus on what you can do to achieve success. The rest is beyond your control, and your nerves won’t help the outcome. When you concentrate on just one thing you can do to improve the situation, you won’t feel overwhelmed. By focusing on what you can do right now, you’ll have more motivation to take action immediately.
95. Often, the root of failure lies in the fact that you are afraid, and as a result, you make mistakes out of fear. Jean de La Fontaine wrote: “We meet our destiny on the path we take to avoid it. A person will fall from a log stretched over a chasm simply because they are afraid of falling. They will walk calmly across the same log if it is lying on the ground. If you don’t shoot, you definitely won’t hit. How many things have people not done in life simply because they feared failure! But in doing so, they have achieved failure— the goal they dreamed of remains unattained, and not even an attempt was made. The biggest risk is not taking any risks. At the end of your life, you will regret more the things you didn’t do than the things you did.
96. If you are going through tough times, you can’t just hope that they will pass soon and therefore neglect the things that are necessary during difficult periods. No. Times won’t just pass. Not by the first of the month, not by spring, not by the elections. They may pass, of course, but empty hopes and their unfulfillment will lead you to depression, and then to capitulation.

You.

97. You will never be able to change yourself. Simply because if you change yourself, you will stop being the person you wanted to change. But you can develop and cultivate the right habits within yourself. They can change you. However, don’t let habits become your master and enslave you. People, like many other animals, tend to create and follow rituals. Rituals help eliminate the uncertainty of the future for those who struggle to think.
98. Our perception system is not capable of noticing small changes. Like a frog that only sees moving objects, we pay attention only to processes that happen quickly enough. We stop noticing the smell in a room after we’ve been there for a while. We get used to monotonous noise. We resign ourselves to the gradual tightening of the screws. We can’t assess our own progress in learning or physical training because it is so slow. We don’t keep track of our small impulsive expenses, which then add up to huge holes in our budget.
99. Our mind is an evolutionary layer built on top of instincts. Humans have very few instincts left, but we still have instinctual desires, which our reason is meant to satisfy in a better way than through blind instinctive actions. Reason manifests itself precisely where it is beneficial not to give in to instincts at the moment, but to choose a more rational and less obvious path to satisfy the full range of our natural desires and manage our resources. People often refer to this as willpower.
100. Willpower can be trained. It’s like a muscle, meaning it can get tired too. There’s no need to strain it unnecessarily. If you love chips, don’t walk past the display without indulging. Even if you resist now, later you might not have the willpower to do your homework well. A person with trained self-control generally makes better decisions.
101. If you don’t manage your desires, they will manage you. Fulfilling a desire doesn’t satisfy it; instead, it provokes even greater desires. There is no point of saturation in this process, and a fulfilled desire doesn’t relieve you of anxiety; it only intensifies it. Fulfilling a desire won’t make you happier also because people get used to everything, and everything becomes mundane. A new car, new clothes, new food only bring joy at first. Even after moving to a new place where you dreamed of living, over time, you get used to the new environment and eventually stop noticing anything unusual.
102. Sports train not only your body but also your willpower. In fact, willpower is what gets trained first. The first thing that sports influence is the way you make decisions. It is through overcoming physical challenges that awareness is developed. Choose a sport that suits you and engage in it in a way that maintains your fitness and health, rather than harming it. A muscular person burns more calories than someone who is weak. This is because muscles require energy even at rest. Additionally, physical activity impacts cognitive abilities. Just half an hour of exercise a day can improve brain function.
103. It’s important to get enough quality sleep. Don’t live a nocturnal lifestyle. Being active at different times than others makes the world around you feel less crowded. There are fewer lines in stores, and no crowds or traffic on public transport. Train yourself to get up at the first sound of the alarm; don’t hit the snooze button. Life will be more pleasant and easier that way.
104. People can’t fall asleep because they’re afraid of insomnia. But sleep is nothing. Rest is everything. Just lying in bed all night is enough to feel decent the next day.
105. Like other animals, humans have a tendency to create and adhere to rituals. This is an attempt to influence the future and to foster a sense of security. People also have a natural inclination to seek out reasons. Our minds are wired to look for cause-and-effect relationships and struggle to accept the idea that something can exist without a reason or purpose. This is why religion is a natural aspect of human life. Religion is also beneficial for society, as the assumption of an observer makes people’s behavior more social. Anyone who claims to believe in nothing irrational is being disingenuous. It’s not a bad thing to allow yourself to believe in something irrational if it helps you navigate this world. Just be aware that it is irrational.
106. If you believe, don’t ask God for anything. Your God is surely wiser and more far-sighted than you and knows better what you truly want. Don’t have the audacity to tell God what to do. If you believe, be righteous and good simply because you have decided to be so, not because you expect a reward or punishment in the afterlife. You are here and now. Also, God does not punish or reward, does not forgive or hold grudges. An all-powerful God does not need helpers to carry out punishments or rewards. God does not need money and is indifferent to how you manage it. God does not require adherence to taboos or ceremonies. God does not empower any men in silly hats with any authority. God does not care what food you eat and when, how and with whom you engage in intimacy, or how many times you pray. Consider that perhaps God is not an entity, but a process.
107. The actions, achievements, and misdeeds of others should never justify your own actions or inactions. Don’t compare yourself to others, don’t compare other people to one another, and don’t allow others to compare you to anyone else. You are you. They are them. No action or inaction of yours can be justified by the fact that someone else did or is doing the same thing. You have your own motivation, conscience, morals, responsibilities to others, and values. Additionally, no action or inaction of yours should be motivated solely by the fact that someone else does it or, even worse, that everyone does it. Success lies where not everyone is doing the same thing.
108. Remember the locus of control. In all your troubles and successes, only you are to blame. It’s not the bench that caused you to bump into it; it’s you. It’s not someone else who made you lose your temper; it’s you who allowed yourself to be manipulated. It’s not the teacher’s fault for their bad attitude towards you; it’s you who didn’t find a way to connect with them. You are the only master of your life, and no one else.
109. Don’t make decisions when you’re driven by emotions. Don’t plan a family with someone you’re in love with—wait for six months. Don’t make or change your decisions based on your mood. Don’t send emails that you’ve written under the influence of fresh emotions. Let the email sit for a while. Read it again the next day. It’s never too late to tell someone what you think. Don’t make angry phone calls. Don’t go shopping on an empty stomach. Make a shopping list in advance. If you want to buy something that’s not on the list, just add it to the next list and buy it later—if you still want it. The general rule is: before you start, think about whether there’s a chance you’ll regret your emotional action and how easy it will be for you to live with that regret.
110. The emotions stirred by passions should not be overlooked. When you jump off a cliff, you choose in advance where and how you will enter the water. In mid-air, you have neither the opportunity nor the desire to change anything. You enjoy the flight with the assurance of a good landing. The same goes for passions; before giving in to them, have a plan for how to enter and exit.
111. People are inherently social creatures with a reputation to uphold, and competition is a natural part of their existence. A significant portion of the competitions you will be drawn into will not be conducted according to your own rules and will be set up so that you do not win. You can never lose if you don’t play. Moreover, you won’t be any less happy if you choose to opt out of a competition that lies outside your value system or offers you nothing but a fleeting sense of superiority. However, if you find yourself compelled to play by someone else’s rules, your loss will not reflect on you at all.
112. Any changes are always energy-consuming. It’s very difficult to move to a new level. However, it’s relatively easy to gradually undermine your own foundation day by day and find yourself on a different level without visible effort. To bring about change, create the conditions for it, rather than forcing the change itself. A good change is one that seems to happen on its own.
113. Don’t play a role. Be yourself. If you’re pretending to be someone else, you’ll feel uncomfortable in your surroundings, where there’s a place for your character, not for you.
114. Don’t be afraid of your flaws. Imperfection is real, and people appreciate reality. That’s why we love real flowers that wilt, rather than perfect plastic ones. What some see as a flaw, others may view as a unique trait, and yet others might consider it a useful quality. Artists have a secret: if you accidentally spill ink on a painting, just add a few more splatters and let people think it was intentional. Designers have a secret too: if there’s an ugly pipe sticking out in a room that you want to hide, paint it a bright color and make it part of the design. What you consider a flaw in yourself or your work can always be turned into a highlight. Often, others won’t be able to criticize your work simply because they don’t know how it was “supposed” to be.
115. There will always be something in which you are better than others and something in which you are worse. You will also always have good opportunities that others do not have, and you will always face undesirable events and dangers that will affect you more than they will affect others. Ask yourself how you can use your strengths to reduce and avoid dangers, and how you can leverage the opportunities you have to compensate for your weaknesses.
116. If you feel embarrassed in front of unfamiliar people or an audience, admit it. You’ll be supported. Don’t try to act like a seasoned pro; you’ll just get picked on. If you don’t want to confess, do something awkward on purpose and smile. You’ll see that people will warm up to you.
117. You don’t owe your parents anything according to any rules or norms. If you feel a sense of duty related to your love for them, that’s one thing. But if someone tells you that you owe them, that’s another. Your parents gave birth to and raised you not because it was necessary for you, but because it brought them joy and satisfaction. From a biological standpoint, a child is a parasite. They try to take as many resources as possible from their parents. In turn, parents try not to give everything away, as they need resources to raise other children and to maintain their own health and well-being. At the same time, parents’ efforts are rewarded with hormones and neurotransmitters, and they enjoy giving their children more than they give themselves. So, try to demand less unnecessary things from your parents. That way, you’ll receive more of what you actually need. You are your parents’ project, but not their property. Having children and then binding them to you as servants is the height of selfishness. After all, you will have your own children, and the answer to the question of where it’s more appropriate (and pleasant) to spend excess resources is quite obvious.
118. Look at the world as a game and boldly do whatever you want. You have the opportunity right now to try out all kinds of behavioral strategies without facing any consequences. Remember, life is a game. Don’t be someone for whom life is a struggle.
119. Parents and teachers can manipulate you. They can be aggressive towards you. They may not act as mentors and partners, but rather like monkeys in a hierarchy. They might not communicate with you normally, instead resorting to a “chatbot” mode, where they have a standard programmed demagogic response ready for any of your phrases or objections. Parents and teachers can unjustly punish you or base their attitude towards you on their mood. They can manipulate you by instilling feelings of guilt or fear. Ultimately, parents may resort to force or other unpleasant actions. Parents and teachers can be inadequate. If you sense their inadequacy, don’t think that the problem lies with you or that you are to blame. You have a fresher mind than your parents or teachers, and the likelihood of your inadequacy is lower than theirs. Don’t respond to manipulation with aggression—pretend for yourself that it’s not manipulation, but a request that adults simply cannot express in any other way.
120. Don’t argue with your parents and teachers — you won’t win. Often, adults are not ready to admit their mistakes out of fear of losing their authority, and they don’t realize that this behavior leads to exactly what they fear. Your being right can often backfire on you. Don’t fight for a place in the hierarchy — it’s not your game. Don’t engage in disputes — you won’t come out on top. Don’t make excuses. Both your parents and you know exactly where you are wrong. They likely don’t want to humiliate you; they want to prevent future mistakes. Your excuses can play a cruel trick on you. You start to believe in the construct you’ve created. Don’t be afraid; often, this is exactly what is expected of you. You have no real power to influence your parents directly as long as you are financially dependent on them. Talking to a chatbot is also pointless. Your task is to observe what your parents and teachers do wrong and make mistakes, remember or write it down, so you don’t repeat the same when raising your own children.
121. If you feel that your parents are toxic, unreasonable, constantly yelling at you, or always dissatisfied with you, find a couple of adult friends. Mature individuals who command respect. Use them as an “adequate version” of parents.

You and other people

122. Don’t start or engage in conversations about politics, religion, tastes, sex, the characteristics of groups you don’t belong to, the cost of things, the lifestyles of others, and their values, strengths, and weaknesses. But listen carefully to what others say and draw conclusions about those people. If someone shares nasty comments and gossip about others with you, they are likely saying the same things about you to others.
123. Don’t impose your values and judgments on anyone. Don’t tell someone that they are living incorrectly just because their values don’t align with yours. Each person has their own context and priorities. Some may choose a cozy home, while others spend all their money on travel. Some collect stamps, while others go fishing. There is no “more prestigious,” “more reasonable,” or “more correct” way to consume.
124. Many people do consume irrationally. But again, it’s not for you to judge. A person whose time is very valuable shouldn’t waste it comparing the prices of tomatoes in the supermarket and calculating exactly how many they need for the week.
125. Don’t try to impose your opinion of yourself on others. They will form their own opinion. They already have. Don’t try to earn respect. Don’t fight against losing it. Authority is a result of your attitude towards tasks and people, as well as how others perceive your actions and values. It won’t be earned or lost on its own.
126. Don’t try to identify yourself through declarations or descriptions like “I’m the kind of person who…”. By stating the limitations you adhere to, your principles, tastes, ideas, or specifics about your diet or sexual preferences, you not only limit yourself but also deceive others. Such behavior is seen as a cheap way to draw attention to yourself.
127. Ask yourself how an adult would act in your situation, especially when it comes to interacting with your peers. Ask another person how they would behave if they were in your place, particularly if that person has enough authority to demand that you commit an immoral act.
128. If you are being bullied, teased, or even subjected to ironic jokes, calmly and without emotion let them know that you perceive it as aggression and that you don’t like it. There’s no need to insist that you dislike something; one time is enough. If the unacceptable behavior continues, simply stop engaging. If you don’t like your nickname, don’t respond to it. Don’t hesitate to stand up for your dignity. You’ll only need to do it once.
129. Don’t participate in bullying, no matter how fun and lively it may seem. Stand up for the weak. They can be useful to you in the fight against the strong.
130. Whatever people do, they do it because something in their current situation doesn’t satisfy them, and they want to change it for themselves. If you are being hurt, insulted, bullied, or humiliated, the problem lies not within you, but with your aggressors. There is something inside them that they themselves dislike, and they try to improve or fix it through their actions. They may lack self-confidence, they might be aware of something they consider shameful or humiliating about themselves, they may want to assert themselves at your expense, or they might be dissatisfied with their position in the social hierarchy and want to elevate it. A happy and self-sufficient person will not waste their energy and time on insults and humiliation.
131. Except for the cases when you decided so on your own without anyone else’s input, you don’t owe anything to anyone. You do things for other people because it brings you joy or you need it. Likewise, unless others decided so without your input, no one owes you anything. People do nice things for you or offer their help only because they enjoy it or they need something from you.
132. The less you do for others, the more valuable your help becomes. If you do something for free for a long time and regularly, people may start to think that you are obligated to do it and that it’s your duty, leading to their expectations. They might begin to demand more. And most likely, your relationship with them will suffer if you decide to stop.
133. Don’t take advantage of the people who depend on you. The time will come when they will become independent, so make sure now that they love you and are loyal to you, rather than hating you.
134. Don’t be afraid of physical confrontation. Wasps aren’t bothered because they sting. It doesn’t matter how many punches you take from a bully. What matters is that the bully will know next time that he’s definitely going to get one punch from you.
135. Do not use force to resolve your issues. Your calm, unpretentious willingness to use force is often perceived by your opponent even without any demonstration of it. It can be heard in your speech and seen in your posture. In adult life, you will likely not encounter situations where the use of force is appropriate.
136. You will encounter conflict situations where you need to stand your ground, and there’s no time or sense in building relationships. Learn to be uncomfortable, assertive, bold, and stubborn. And try not to take advantage of it. Just be prepared. Just like with physical confrontation, your readiness will be apparent. Especially if you remain extremely polite. Your politeness will be seen as a gift to the other person, not as a humiliating plea.
137. But if it comes to a fight or physical resistance, your main goal is to stop your opponent by any means in the shortest time possible. Use makeshift tools and objects as early as you can, and definitely before your opponent does. Be ruthless and cunning. Strike first. Remember, you are essentially a big monkey. No one can seriously resist a large, angry monkey.
138. It’s always wiser to avoid a fight. If the circumstances allow you to walk away (if you have no one to protect and you’re not cornered) — just leave. If you need to run, then be able to run fast for a kilometer uphill. Don’t hesitate to show genuine remorse, admit your mistakes, and ask for forgiveness from aggressive strangers. Fighting someone you see for the first and last time in your life is absurd. That person doesn’t matter to you. What matters is you, your clothes, and your health. After the first blow, it’s better to walk away than to seek revenge. This isn’t cowardice. You haven’t shown fear. It’s wisdom. Especially if strangers are taunting, insulting, or provoking you into a fight, it’s best to walk away.
139. You should leave carefully as soon as the situation no longer seems safe. At the slightest hint of escalating aggression, don’t hesitate to walk away.
140. In any confrontation, remember to keep a smile on your face. It really bothers your opponent. A smile masks your facial expression when you’re scared or anxious. Evolutionarily, the smile originated from a snarl. A smile gives you confidence and protects you from unnecessary escalation and falling into rage.
141. All foolishness on earth is done with a serious expression. Smile and look people in the eye: it will please a friend or a passerby, and it will disconcert an enemy.
142. Don’t threaten. Those around you and your opponent don’t need to know your plans regarding them. They shouldn’t be aware that you have motives and the means to do something harmful to your opponent. If you have a weapon and a firm intention to use it, don’t reveal it until the very last moment. Don’t give your opponent a chance to prepare. In any case, remember that your goal is to improve your own situation, not to worsen your opponent’s.
143. Before unleashing a torrent of rage, consider whether there’s a chance—and what that chance might be—that you are actually in the wrong. Where and in what way might that possibility exist?
144. Never give in to blackmail. If you’ve done something shameful that you regret and the blackmailer has found out about it, the best thing you can do is confess to it yourself and explain that you are being blackmailed with this information. A blackmailer will never be satisfied with the first offering and will continue to exploit you indefinitely. Additionally, if someone threatens you with actions they believe will upset you, especially if you do something that they find unpleasant, it’s best to cut ties with that person immediately after you fulfill their request, if you choose to do so. If you cannot end the relationship, never give in to threats, as this will only encourage that person to use blackmail as a manipulation tactic again.
145. Don’t react to threats without analysis. Threats are often made when carrying them out would be disadvantageous for the one making them. They are frequently voiced without any real plan for implementation. Remember the formula: “The government does not negotiate with terrorists.” The responsibility for turning threats into action lies with the one making the threat, not with you.
146. If you feel that, for example, you are hated, unloved, despised, used, ignored, envied, considered an idiot or a failure, or that people are angry with you, then the problem lies within you, and you need to change something about yourself, not about the people around you. The important thing is that the issue is not about what you think or what you might already be trying to eliminate or compensate for. Perhaps the problem is simply that you already expect bad treatment from others, you don’t trust those who don’t show such behavior, considering them hypocrites. As a result, you start to behave poorly towards people yourself, and ultimately, you get what you expect.
147. A person surrounds themselves with people based on their opinions about them and receives from others what they expect to receive. If someone believes that others only want one thing from them, then they probably cannot or do not want to offer anything else. For example, a seller of Christmas ornaments will be convinced that visitors to their store only want Christmas ornaments and that no one is asking about aquarium fish. If a person views others as dependent and in need of control, then only such people will remain in their circle. If someone preemptively thinks of those around them as fraudsters, honest people won’t even try to convince them of their honesty, while fraudsters will be more persistent and will gain their trust. If a person considers everyone around them to be fools, only those who know they are not very bright will tolerate such condescension and stay close. If someone sees others as selfish, thinking only of themselves and therefore not doing anything good first, then they too will not do anything good. And so on. The tale “ Little Raccoon The phrase “about ‘the one who sits in the pond’” carries a very serious philosophical meaning.
148. The higher the level of formal hierarchy, the more psychopaths it will contain. These are people devoid of a sense of reciprocity, with diminished empathy, cruel, and often even with sadistic tendencies. This happens because, in an anonymous society, such individuals, unburdened by morality, gain an advantage over others. In small reputational groups, psychopaths are simply not tolerated. Those in power often have sadistic tendencies because they pursue power more than others, as it brings them pleasure. A person in power for a long time will also become hardened and lose empathy, especially as they have to make difficult decisions that are unpleasant for others.

     Don’t play their games. Don’t express outrage—they already know they’re in the wrong. Don’t lament the injustice—they created it intentionally. Don’t ask for anything—they expect that. In general, don’t show any emotions. Most likely, a sadist’s actions are aimed at eliciting emotional feedback from you. If you can distance yourself from such people, do so as soon as it is convenient and beneficial for you. If you can’t leave, try not to stand out. Aim to be no better or worse than others. Don’t draw attention to yourself, and don’t let them know that you could be a threat to the psychopath’s career ambitions. Don’t take the initiative and don’t act outside of instructions to avoid making mistakes. There will always be someone else more deserving of criticism or praise than you. If you can eliminate such a person—go for it! But do so with a well-thought-out plan of attack and a possible retreat. Remember, they are a professional in intrigue, while you are an amateur.

149. If someone asks for your opinion on something you don’t like, it’s best not to hurt their feelings with your response. It’s possible that you simply lack the perspective to appreciate it. So, in such cases, use a more universal response, like “That’s interesting!” or “Charming!”
150. Don’t lie. Especially to yourself. But you can make people think in a way that benefits you. — You’re learning, you’re a child. There are no circumstances that would force you to lie. No one will hurt you or kill you. All problems are fixable; you just often don’t see the solutions because you’re still young. Be ready to be honest in situations where everyone expects you to lie and twist the truth. The reputation you build will be useful later when you need people to trust you. Lying, cheating, deceiving, and being cunning are skills you need to master. For that, you must have a sharp mind, a good memory, and rich life experience. Your deception will most likely be uncovered, and if no one points it out to you directly, it doesn’t mean they believe you. They will simply stop communicating with you.
151. Any lie must be well thought out, unverifiable, and indistinguishable from the truth. Moreover, it should appear more plausible than the truth. Therefore, there’s no point in lying or cheating over trivial matters. It’s better to have a reputation as an honest person, which can come in handy when you really need to construct an alternative reality.
152. People are not hurt by the fact that you are lying, but by the thought that you believe they are so foolish as to fall for your deception. Adults are very experienced in the ways of deceit. They were children themselves and learned from their own mistakes on how to lie to their parents effectively. You’re unlikely to be able to fool them for long.
153. If you had to resort to deception, then no one should know about it, not just the person you deceived. You were able to deceive not because you are so smart and cunning, but because you were trusted more than you deserve. Treat those who have deceived you in the same way.
154. Don’t lie just to hurt or offend someone else. You won’t fix the situation by trying to punish your conversation partner, but you will lose their respect and won’t be able to restore the relationship. Words spoken in anger can indeed hurt others, but they will harm you even more.
155. Before judging others or yourself, ask whether you would have acted the same way in that situation, with the same emotional state, context, knowledge, and life experience. In most cases, the fact that you don’t see the reasons or motives behind someone else’s actions means that you don’t have all the information.
156. Before criticizing, think about what you believe should have been done differently. And before sharing your ideas, try to understand why the ideas that surely occurred to the person being criticized could not or should not have been implemented.
157. Learn to accept criticism. Distinguish between criticism and attempts at bullying. Ask the critic for their opinion on how to improve, and thank them for their feedback. Try to find a trusted critic, or even better, more than one, for your important work. The opportunity to correct something before it becomes a mistake is invaluable.
158. Don’t catch others in lies and unfulfilled obligations. Don’t show that you know the person has lied. Don’t try to make them feel guilty. It doesn’t make sense. There’s nothing more to clarify with this person and nothing more to learn from them. Everything they say and will say in the future is likely to be untrue. Just draw your own conclusions about this person.
159. Do the right things. Don’t do things that you would want to avoid others knowing about. For example, don’t speak ill of someone behind their back. Don’t steal, especially since what you steal won’t be of any use to you.
160. Don’t hesitate to refuse to lend money, be a guarantor, or co-signer. No, these people do not have the right to blame you for anything or reproach you. If you ever decide to lend someone money, be prepared to part ways with those people and/or the money, and never remind them about repayment. Often, it’s a good way to rid yourself of an unpleasant person—by lending them money.
161. Don’t be jealous. Jealousy will surely lead to losing the one you are jealous of. In a world with contraceptives and paternity testing, jealousy is meaningless. Let the person you love get the best for themselves in this life. Remember that your suspicions primarily reflect your own thought process.
162. Don’t be envious. It’s irrational to feel bad just because someone else, in your opinion, is doing well. You shouldn’t care about other people’s successes or failures. What matters are your own successes and failures. There will always be billions of people in the world who are more successful than you and billions who are less successful. Moreover, when you see something good that someone else has, you often overlook the bad things, the price they paid, what they lost, and what they don’t have. If you knew more, you would likely hesitate to trade places with that person. Someone else’s success or the possessions and opportunities they have doesn’t make you any worse off. Typically, people envy those who are close to them, not those who have even more.
163. Remember that looking successful is not the same as being successful. Looking successful is about prestige, popularity, status, and the envy and admiration of others. Being successful means achieving your goals, fully utilizing the opportunities available to you, being self-aware, building and maintaining relationships, contributing to a common cause, not fearing mistakes, and welcoming challenges. In education, work, and life, it is crucial to ensure that you are striving for success, not just for the appearance of success. When it comes to public recognition, success is also about the ability to achieve what you set out to achieve, rather than just popularity. Often, a person sacrifices their goals to be popular and then wonders why they are unhappy. The success of an art-house film director is not measured by box office earnings.
164. Keep your promises. A good person is someone who honors agreements, including not being late. Good people are more likely to receive help.
165. Therefore, never promise anything or swear an oath. Yes means yes, and no means no. Everything else is from the devil. You should have a reputation such that being asked for a promise or an oath is offensive to you. Also, don’t promise anything to yourself. Just do it.
166. Don’t believe other people’s promises. Promises are not made to be fulfilled later, but to manipulate you in the present. If you do what the person who made the promise wants, expecting them to keep their word, the incentive for them to fulfill their promise disappears. The more someone swears an oath, the less likely it is that they will actually follow through.
167. If someone asks you, “Have I ever lied to you?”, you shouldn’t trust that person anymore. You also can’t trust those who ask you to be honest or open with them. People who are the best at lying and manipulating believe they are the most honest of all, and psychopaths are not at all like they are portrayed in movies. They are not insane. They are very intelligent and skilled at pretending.
168. Always communicate your expectations to others and find out their expectations of you before entering into any relationships or making deals. Most conflicts and grievances arise from misunderstandings of the other party’s expectations.
169. If you feel uncomfortable and awkward about saying no, then do it right away. Even if you would be okay with agreeing. Don’t hesitate. After all, the person who put you in this uncomfortable position wasn’t shy about manipulating you. So, keep asking yourself, “Am I comfortable saying no?” There are situations where a good tactic for refusing is to postpone the decision for later.
170. Learn to say “no.” It doesn’t hurt. If you find it hard to say “no,” then, first of all, you are being manipulated, and secondly, think about it: your “no” is a “yes” to other things and tasks. Choose what is more important to you and give yourself a “yes” to that. You won’t have time and resources for anything else. You have the right not to explain why it’s “no.” It’s “no” because you want it that way, and it’s your decision. If someone tries to persuade you without presenting new facts that you can believe in, you can respond that their persuasion is degrading both them and you, implying that you are capable of changing your decision without a reason.
171. You can always say that you won’t do something because your mother is a snake or your father is a tyrant and you’ll be punished severely. This will evoke sympathy and people will leave you alone. If you think you’re speaking ill of your parents behind their backs, make sure to discuss it with them beforehand. When you grow up, you can use your partner’s name in similar situations.
172. If you’re being rushed to make a decision, take a pause to think. If you’re not being rushed, take a pause to think as well. You can always say, “I need to consult with…” Don’t take a pause to think if you’re being offered something that your answer should be “no.” If, for some reason, you can’t say “no” (for example, because you’re waiting for a “yes” to your own proposal), you can mention that it doesn’t seem like the right time to discuss this issue, suggest coming back to it later, or express that you’re open to considering all reasonable options. If you feel a sense of urgency created in you in one way or another, or if you see a call to action in the message, it means you’re being manipulated. The best thing to do is to stop. Honest proposals are never “urgent.”
173. Don’t take advice from those who want you to make a decision in their favor.
174. Never rush to part with your money. Nothing terrible will happen if you don’t spend it right now. There are no “unique opportunities” or “one-time offers.” If you still believe in some kind of uniqueness, just stop. You’re being manipulated. What you have won’t go anywhere. You lived just fine without what they’re trying to sell you, and you’ll continue to live happily without it.
175. When managing your money, remember that it’s your money—you earned it, and it’s up to you and only you to decide how and on what to spend it, and what your priorities are. Don’t hesitate to tell a salesperson of an expensive item that it’s overpriced. Their haughty expression is a manipulation, and their earnings are likely less than yours. Don’t pay attention to the opinions of others regarding your spending and the value of the things you own. Avoid making purchases with thoughts of how others will perceive you or what they might say.
176. You have the right not to answer other people’s questions if you feel they are being overly curious. The first time, respond with vague, meaningless phrases. A smart person will understand that you don’t want to answer and will stop. A foolish person will continue to pry. It’s not scary to ruin a relationship with a fool, and you can always say that you won’t provide a more detailed answer. You can also ask the questioner how appropriate they think it is to ask such questions and how often they have been asked similar questions by strangers.
177. Don’t be friends with those you sleep with. Sleep with those you are friends with and trust.
178. Don’t start intimate relationships with those you depend on or who depend on you.
179. When the time comes to choose and make a decision, just ask yourself, “Does this person resemble the mother/father of my children?” Even if you don’t plan on having kids.
180. When the time comes to meet your partner’s parents, remember that it’s not them evaluating you, but you evaluating them. If you’ve chosen your partner wisely, their opinions should not matter to you. Take a good look at the parents. These are the people who raised your partner. What they might hide in their behavior to impress you will be evident in the parents. Observe how educated they are, how clear-headed their judgments are, and how open they are. Pay attention to the emotions reflected on their faces when they are calm. The facial muscles and the way they are used leave a visible mark on the faces of mature individuals. Ask yourself if you would find it interesting to communicate with them without your partner being present.
181. Don’t start living together with your partner in a place or under the supervision of your or their parents. It’s best to limit their influence on you as much as possible during the first couple of years of your life together.
182. If the goal of a relationship is not to connect with a wealthy or influential family, then avoid serious relationships with people who are financially or career-wise dependent on their parents to the extent that the parents dictate the terms. In general, steer clear of those who are emotionally dependent on their parents. A good rule of thumb is to live in such a way that you would need to make two transfers to reach your parents.
183. In conflict situations, take your partner’s side as the default, rather than your parents’. At the same time, don’t criticize their parents or their relationship with them. Observe, draw conclusions, and decide if you are comfortable with it. Don’t try to fix them or your relationship with their parents. If your partner goes to their parents after a fight, and they accept them back, don’t allow them to return to you. This is where you need to draw the line.
184. A beautiful person is someone who is confident and takes care of themselves. Hygiene is more important than makeup. Develop good hygiene habits for yourself right now. It’s much harder for an adult to form a new habit (like brushing their teeth in the morning, but after breakfast and then at night) than it is for you.
185. If you frequently change your appearance—hairstyles, makeup, tattoos, style—it means you are unhappy. You don’t like your current situation or you feel a lack of control over your life, but you don’t have a productive way to change it, so you change something, anything.
186. The ability to be likable to others is a skill that can be developed. Try to go as long as possible in your life without relying on tools to enhance your attractiveness. Otherwise, you won’t be able to properly develop this skill. You can’t be sure that you know how to swim if you’ve never taken off a life jacket.
187. Yes, a sexual appearance attracts potential sexual partners. However, it will be very difficult for you to choose from all those drawn to you, those who like you for more than just your looks. The more sexually attractive or provocative your appearance, the more primitive and shallow people you will attract. Those who think a step ahead are likely to be put off by you. Not only because they may have a low opinion of you, but primarily because, in optimizing their efforts, they will avoid competing with other candidates who have simple needs, of which there are likely many. A successful and self-confident person will not compete with others for something that can be obtained elsewhere without competition, the outcome of which says nothing about that person. Professionals do not participate in “Eurovision.”

Other people and you

188. Most of the time, people don’t use their minds. Even when they talk and ask questions. You might think that your conversation partner is engaged in a conscious discussion, but in reality, you’re dealing with an advanced yet still automatic response, producing results similar to those of a computer neural network.
189. At least half of the people around you will have below-average intelligence. This follows from the definition of average and the normal distribution of intelligence levels in the population. According to research, between 20% and 25% of the European population is functionally illiterate. This means that at least one in five is unable to understand a written text, such as an instruction manual. Considering that intelligent people are less noticeable because they usually prefer to remain silent and not draw attention to themselves, an even more disheartening picture emerges.
190. Don’t try to impress everyone. The most unhappy people are those who care the most about what others think. Other people’s opinions shouldn’t concern you. They shouldn’t affect your self-esteem or modify your behavior, but they should help you achieve your goals. Remember, you are indifferent to others. Everyone is only worried about themselves, and you are definitely not their top priority.
191. Having good manners, taste, and articulate speech is important. Poor manners can reveal a lot of negative things about a person. Good manners and adherence to etiquette signal to others that they can expect appropriate behavior from you. The impression you make is a tool for achieving your goals, not a means to seek validation from others or to derive pleasure from standing out (or not).
192. Opinions should not be respected. They should even be despised. Even your own. What matters is knowledge and the foundation on which it stands. There’s a quote: Every person has a certain horizon of views. When it narrows and becomes infinitely small, it turns into a point. Then a person says, “This is my point of view.” A good indicator of a person’s foolishness and limitations is the presence of an opinion for which they are ready to fight and defend. A typical phrase that signals someone has an opinion instead of knowledge is: “I think so.” That’s it. Arguing is pointless. You need to agree, nod along, and seek confirmation of that person’s opinion in the conversation. At least to extract some benefit from their presence in your world. Otherwise, you can just walk away.
193. Don’t argue. Ultimately, you should be indifferent to what others think about the things you know. Agree? If you can’t agree, you can nod or acknowledge that “this viewpoint is popular” or “has a right to exist.” Then check again in literature and encyclopedias to see if you were right. Perhaps by staying silent, you avoided embarrassment. And you definitely didn’t make the person feel foolish or force them to defend themselves.
194. You can’t control people, but you can manage agreements. People will gladly do what you need them to do because it also benefits them. If you find yourself in a position that allows you to influence others, an even more subtle way to exert influence is through managing values. By shifting the weight of values in a person’s or group’s value system, you can make it so that people enthusiastically want to do what you need or refrain from activities that you find undesirable. This is how Tom Sawyer got Ben Rogers to paint the fence for him by turning a punishment into a privilege. This is how governments or religions operate when they compel people to endure hardships or even kill each other simply for the sake of an idea.
195. People use good intentions as a means of bullying. They may attack others for eating meat, not recycling well enough, dressing in a way they find provocative, wearing leather or fur, using fossil fuels, watering their lawns too often, and so on. Pay attention to yourself—are you making comments about others just for your own enjoyment? Can your remark to one person really change the habits of society as a whole? Are you being honest with yourself about what you notice in others?
196. People often find it satisfying to irritate others in response to the irritation they themselves have caused. This is an instinctive reaction that is appropriate in a close-knit group to shape the behavior of others towards you. However, people instinctively behave this way towards strangers as well. They respond to rudeness with rudeness, signal other drivers in retaliation for traffic violations, consider it acceptable to retaliate against physical aggression or even a mere accidental bump, and so on. It is much wiser and more sensible not to react at all to people you will never encounter again. There is even more wisdom in not reacting to people you might meet in the future, but under different circumstances. Even within a close group, irritating your peers makes sense only if the goal is to curb unacceptable behavior in the future. Therefore, it is advisable to refrain from even personally directed jokes, irony, and teasing.
197. Classmates you study with are random people in your life. They didn’t choose this school and this class themselves. You probably won’t have many common interests and values. Don’t worry if you’re struggling to connect with them. Use your environment to practice your interaction skills with all types of people. Those who interest you will come along later as you develop your professional identity.
198. Your classmates are a good example for you. By observing them, you can understand how to behave and how not to behave. You can see which behaviors effectively solve problems and which ones are annoying and off-putting. Children still haven’t learned to hide the shortcomings of their upbringing. Take advantage of that.
199. People start to raise their voices when they run out of other ways to persuade, influence, or motivate. If someone is shouting at you, it’s a sign of their helplessness. Take the shouting and the argument as just that. The person who is yelling is expressing their fear that you won’t obey them. Because, in their opinion, you could do so without facing unpleasant consequences. Dogs, who are oblivious to our instinctive primate signals, quickly learn that if their owner is shouting, they can ignore them. It looks quite ridiculous when a dog owner is hysterically yelling “Come here!” thinking that this will make their pet behave. Dogs have excellent hearing; they can hear a whisper from 20 meters away.
200. You don’t necessarily need to have many friends. One true friend is already a stroke of luck. A friend is someone who will help you carry out a body. Those who help you move a wardrobe are just good acquaintances. Those you can just have fun with are casual acquaintances. You will encounter bad people in your life, and some of your friends may turn out to be real moral monsters. Find the strength within yourself to cut them out of your life, even if they are relatives.
201. If you encounter rude and arrogant people in your life—those who look for opportunities to criticize you or try to belittle you—they are likely just insecure and afraid of being judged by others as less worthy than they believe they are. Just like a small dog will bark and bite, a larger dog will silently kill or neutralize in other ways if necessary. Try to deal with such people by treating them kindly, giving small gifts and treats, and offering compliments, even in the face of their off-putting behavior. Don’t worry that your gifts will be seen as reinforcing their bad behavior; you can always stop giving them. In fact, this might encourage the person to be kinder to you in order to continue receiving pleasant things from you.
202. People behave within the bounds of decency in a typical setting. If you want to get to know someone, you need to take them out of their usual environment and spend time with them in an uncomfortable place. A few days hiking in the mountains, traveling—if possible, as a “backpacker”—or doing volunteer work. Observe the person in these circumstances and draw your conclusions.
203. If a person speaks poorly to someone who is lower on the social ladder or less financially secure, it’s best to stay away from them. For example, pay attention to how they interact with waitstaff.
204. Give compliments, praise what people have done themselves, rather than what they have without their involvement. “You are beautiful” is cliché and misses the point. “You have a great hairstyle” is a better example. Refrain from praise when gratitude is more appropriate. Compare “Well done!” and “Thank you!”
205. Public praise is only appropriate when you are in a higher formal hierarchy than the person you are praising, and the praise pertains to your interactions within the same framework as your hierarchical relationship. Public praise in other situations may be perceived as passive-aggressive, an attempt to assert the right to evaluate others, and a claim to hierarchical relationships that do not exist. People will trust you more if you refrain from criticizing others behind their backs and instead offer them praise. Just be cautious with your words, as through praise you may inadvertently declare your own values.
206. Criticism should only be given in a one-on-one conversation, constructively, without attacking the person being criticized, and starting with praise. Critique events and phenomena, not people. Try to describe the situation and its consequences without using judgmental statements, so that the person can understand what went wrong and appreciate your ideas on how to prevent a similar situation in the future.
207. If you want to express your gratitude to someone in a meaningful way, describe how their help specifically benefited you, what problems it solved, and what opportunities it opened up for you. It’s best not to mention any monetary amounts you saved thanks to their assistance. In general, you shouldn’t ask for help when you can obtain the same thing for money. Reciprocity in gratitude can end up costing you more. So remember, those who help you may always ask for a favor in return. That’s how the mafia was formed.
208. The world is vast, but the circle you live in is very small. Don’t be surprised if you find that “everyone knows each other.” So, act with this possibility in mind. Reputation is the most valuable resource you have.
209. Good and evil are not absolute. Actions or events are evaluated depending on the situation, context, individual opinions and perceptions, and even on quantitative indicators of the phenomenon. Good and evil are not opposites. What is considered good can also be seen as evil. It all depends on the evaluator, and there is no objective framework for measuring good and evil. Even the seven deadly sins—pride, greed, wrath, envy, adultery, gluttony, and sloth—are nothing more than excessive manifestations of virtues. For example, greed is excessive frugality, while envy or wrath is an excessive and inappropriate sense of justice. Good and evil are inseparable and cannot be understood in isolation from each other, just as one cannot know light without shadows or enjoy delicacies without everyday food.
210. People are judged by their actions, not by their words. It’s important for you to understand this in relation to others, and it’s something to keep in mind when you take actions.
211. Agreements should always be documented in writing, even if it’s on a napkin. This is especially important when it involves “your” people or relatives. If you didn’t write it down at the time of the agreement, send an email the next day outlining your understanding of the agreement and ask for confirmation. It’s common for people to unintentionally forget or pretend to forget, or, even worse, they might gaslight you.
212. Be polite. Greet everyone. It gives you an advantage. Be courteous and respectful to your loved ones just as you are to strangers. We often allow ourselves to say hurtful things to those close to us simply because they seem like they won’t go anywhere. But that’s neither fair nor honest. Don’t do that. Ask yourself: “Would I behave this way with my teacher, my neighbor, or a store clerk?”
213. Don’t just remember the things that are important to you; make it impossible to forget them. One of the most important qualities that school helps you develop is reliability. To become a reliable student, ensure that you can’t forget anything, like doing your homework, bringing your textbook to school, or asking your parents to sign a paper. Use a planner, notes, sticky labels, or an app on your smartphone to keep track of everything. Similarly, don’t allow yourself to forget what matters to the important people in your life, such as birthdays, hobbies, and habits.
214. Most people are good. Trust by default, but don’t provoke. Be prepared to lose as much with a person as the information about their dishonesty is worth. The higher the wall of distrust you build around yourself, the more sophisticated the scoundrels will be who want to deal with you. A normal, honest person won’t waste time proving their honesty to you. A valuable specialist won’t participate in a multi-stage hiring process filled with tests and interviews. An interesting guy won’t spend time on a girl who turns everyone down, and an honest girl won’t pursue a guy who is overly cautious in relationships. This will be true for all the barriers you create. A tall fence around your house will attract thieves and repel honest people. Thieves will feel safe behind the fence, where no one can see them. In your life, you will only see the fence and the thieves, but not the good people.
215. Choose your friends and create friendships. The foundation of friendship is mutual support. Do good for others and help them, and observe their reactions. Continue to engage with those who are eager to give you something in return. Always be aware of why people are interacting with you. What exactly are you providing them, and are you satisfied with that? Consider what you can gain from people that justifies spending your time on them. People are not perfect.
216. Don’t count on being able to change or reform someone. No matter how hard you try, support, or love these people, they won’t change until they want to. And even wanting to isn’t enough; you need to be able to change yourself, and not everyone has that ability. Decide for yourself which “problematic” traits you can tolerate in your friends and which you can’t. But finding “problem-free” friends is almost impossible. In turn, those who want to change you or ask you to give up your passions care more about themselves than about you. If an acquaintance lets you down in some way, that doesn’t mean you should cut ties with them. It’s just knowledge for you about what to (not) expect from them. For example, you can still have fun spending time with them, but you might not want to let them ride your bike anymore.
217. Don’t try to earn friendship and love. Even if you are the most wonderful person in the world, there will always be someone who hates you. And that’s okay. Your infatuation doesn’t mean that the object of your affection is the only one and irreplaceable. It’s an illusion of love that fades within a year or two. Friends and love come and go. You change too. Your preferences now won’t be the same ten years from now. Avoid relationships with people who require you to earn their attention. Friendship and love should always be mutual. In other cases, it’s toxic relationships and manipulation. Never be clingy. Compare your desire to reach out with what is considered normal.
218. In any relationship with people of the same or opposite sex, you shouldn’t seek to win or earn recognition, attention, or love. If, by some unlikely chance, you do “win” someone’s love or attention, the relationship will develop in a way that makes it seem like that person did you a favor by noticing you and accepting you. You will always feel like the one who is asking or the one who has lost. Additionally, by trying to “win” someone over, you fall into the trap of “sunk cost,” where it seems unreasonable to stop pursuing your goal just because you’ve already invested so much time, effort, and resources. Conversely, relationships where you are “won over” are unlikely to be fruitful. Often, that person is focused on the outcome rather than the process, and you will become uninteresting to them once they achieve their goal. You may also end up with a “follower” who won’t support you in life or help you move forward, but will instead hold you back, as you become their “superior” being.
219. Don’t try to build relationships with your idols—those you admire from the start. You’ll feel awkward and will lose simply because you’ll be afraid of coming across that way. Don’t wait for your turn if the person you want a relationship with puts you second or lower, repeatedly refuses to engage with you citing their busyness, doesn’t respond to your attempts to reach out, disappears for several days without explanation, spends time on their phone when you’re together, compares you to someone else or manipulates you by talking about the attention others give them, or is late for meetings. Don’t confess your love if you’re not loved back—there’s a high chance you’ll be seen as a “reliable backup option.” It’s more productive and enjoyable to notice and appreciate those who are genuinely interested in you just as you are, here and now.
220. When ending a relationship with someone, there’s no need to make a big declaration about it. Just disappear from their world. No farewell letters, no last attempts to communicate. No “fat periods.” Maintaining communication is a mutual effort, and if you don’t put in any effort to keep in touch, the communication will naturally fade away. Don’t regret parting ways with people. Always remember the good they brought into your life. No matter the reason for the breakup, you had some good times together. Appreciate what you gained, rather than lament what you lost.
221. It’s in our instincts to observe how the objects around us move and draw conclusions from that. Anything coming straight at us is likely dangerous. Anything that is running away from us is likely attractive. If you want to attract someone, you definitely shouldn’t get too close too openly. If you want to avoid someone, you also shouldn’t leave in a blatant and demonstrative way. Don’t trust people who suddenly appear in your life or those who resurface from a forgotten past without reason.
222. People are aggressive beings. Aggression is necessary for animals to successfully spread across their available territory. If you want to get closer to someone, don’t do it too quickly, or you’ll provoke rejection and suspicion. You should also avoid people who try too hard to please everyone, who seek to befriend you or those around you. At the same time, you won’t argue with those you aren’t very close to. The right distance is the key to mutual respect.
223. Courtship is a part of behavior aimed at attracting a potential sexual partner. This doesn’t mean that men “only think about this” when they give women flowers or take them out to dinner. They simply enjoy it and don’t think too much about the success of their “investments.” Similarly, a squirrel gathers nuts because it enjoys doing so, not because it knows winter is coming. At the same time, there are individuals of both genders in society who actively exploit these behavioral patterns. When courting or accepting courtship, it’s important to analyze the feedback, context, and appropriateness.
224. Reciprocity is part of the instinctive behavioral strategy of people in a group. Gifts create obligations. If someone gives you something for no reason or clearly beyond an acceptable budget, you will likely be asked to do something that you wouldn’t do even for money equivalent to the value of the gift, if it weren’t for that gift. Favors create obligations as well. If you want to ask someone for a favor, you can usually only do it once unless you offer something in return afterward. Often, giving something in return costs more than hiring a paid service that is similar to the favor.
225. Don’t trust people’s stories about their loved ones or partners. It’s always just a part of the story and, what’s more, it may be distorted, whether intentionally or not. Offer your sympathy, sigh along, but don’t draw any conclusions until you know the whole story.
226. Remember that a dog only breaks free from its leash because there is a leash. The best way to hold onto someone is to let them go. If it’s meant to be yours, it won’t leave you. And if it’s not yours, you would lose it anyway, but with much more pain. Don’t try to control the people you care about.

Society

227. Religion is a personal matter. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about your faith. Any religious organization exists solely on the contributions of its believers and is essentially designed for the purpose of collecting those funds.
228. Justice does not exist. Justice is nothing more than an emotion—a feeling that you personally experience. It’s not worth searching for. The pursuit of justice often leads to even greater losses. Revenge is also unproductive. It doesn’t matter what the other person loses; what matters is what you lose and gain. Never inflict pain on others, even if you think they deserve it. Punishment. not working It’s the way you want it. This is not a means to fix what has already happened. It’s a means of communication. If you turn to someone for help in achieving justice, be prepared to pay for it, just like for any other feeling or emotion. Just be aware of how transactional love differs from genuine love.
229. Free will is a myth. Neurons do not activate spontaneously; they only respond to external stimuli. Every action you take always has a cause. Of course, one could delve into quantum fluctuations at the atomic level, but that still doesn’t equate to freedom; it’s merely dependence on the whims of chance. There is a vast amount of research on this topic showing that the brain acts faster than the conscious mind “decides.” Interestingly, people continue to behave as if they have free will, while believing that all phenomena, even random ones, must have a cause, not just actions. What seems to us like free will is actually the internal dialogue we constantly engage in, rationalizing decisions that have already been made unconsciously.
230. Democracy does not exist in politics. Democracy only works in small groups of like-minded individuals and in situations where decisions do not directly affect the members of the group. Originally, democracy was used as a means to make complex choices in conditions of limited information. It is as fair and rational a method as drawing lots. In a world where 50% of people are less intelligent than the other 50%, and the majority lack the education and knowledge necessary to make informed decisions, it is impossible to achieve the right outcomes through crowd voting. People are forced to go to the polls and choose unknown candidates, whom they can only judge based on what is said about them in the media, which is owned by those who truly control the world. Don’t play their games. They need elections only to later claim, “We have democracy; you chose for yourselves.” For those who organize the elections, the outcome is either predetermined or all possible results are acceptable illusions of choice. Don’t believe their promises; they likely don’t even intend to keep them. This doesn’t mean that other forms of power are better. Other forms of power are more straightforward and less hypocritical. The interests of any authority will always contradict your interests. Just live with it.
231. The word “law” has several meanings. One meaning is the law of nature, which cannot be violated. The second meaning is the law of taboo, which should not be broken. Some taboos are natural for humans as social animals, and for the overwhelming majority of people, it is simply unpleasant to violate these prohibitions. It is unpleasant to kill, steal, betray partners, and be betrayed. Another part of the taboos is imposed. The state invents new laws on top of the natural ones, mixes them with the natural laws, and sells the people a service for protecting these laws, which is only needed by the state to collect more money from people, keep them in check, and send them to their deaths.
232. Any punitive law is inappropriate simply because its existence implies and acknowledges the presence and prevalence of actions for which, according to that law, punishments are prescribed. However, the declared goal of the state is to prevent such actions from occurring at all. This is how animals are trained: to teach a dog not to pick up scraps from the ground, you have to wait until it does so and then punish it. And this is done several times. This approach is only suitable because the dog does not understand speech. The propaganda of the police function of the state is effective, and people believe that without the police, chaos would ensue. But practice shows that during lawlessness, only a few engage in looting. Experience shows that the police will do nothing to find the criminal who stole your wallet or broke into your apartment. It shows that treachery, deceit, and betrayal are unacceptable, yet there are no laws prohibiting these behaviors. There are laws against robbery and murder, but the state practices both. It does not matter whether this is done according to its own written laws or arbitrarily. The idea of chaos and lawlessness in the absence of the state is quite natural for a sociopath, who are very few among normal people and very many among politicians. They are either that way from the start or become so during their political activities. Politicians merely project their motivations onto the people. You do not have to obey the laws simply because they are laws. The moral law is always within you. Follow it.
233. Women and men are not equal. They generally behave differently in stressful situations, in familiar and unfamiliar environments, learn at different speeds, seek new experiences differently, take risks differently, navigate their surroundings differently, and interact with others differently. Different areas of the brain are developed differently in women and men. There will always be more geniuses among men, but there will also always be more mentally challenged individuals among them. Sampling bias leads us to believe that some are better and some are worse (we observe successful individuals and do not often visit mental institutions). But that is not the case. And it does not mean that there are no exceptions. Nature is diverse. For example, in general, an experienced female driver will perform better than an experienced male driver. At the same time, it is expected—though only expected—that a novice female driver will show worse results than a novice male driver.
234. People are not equal. Equality is an idea, not a reality. People, at the very least, have different physical attributes, varying susceptibilities to diseases, and different preferences. People’s opportunities are also not equal. It is impossible to ensure that everyone has the same access to a particular resource. There will always be someone with a more or less attractive partner than you. There will always be someone living closer to the supermarket than you. There will always be someone richer or poorer than you. The knowledge and skills of other people will always differ from yours. These differences do not make some people better than others. “Better” is always relative. Better for what? Under what circumstances? For what purposes? The world would be terrible and doomed if all people were truly equal.
235. The inequality among individuals serves as the foundation for animal interactions in so-called reputation groups. Unlike anonymous groups, such as ants, each member of a reputation group expects different things from the others. The capabilities of the brain are not limitless, which creates a natural constraint on the size of a reputation group. For humans, this is typically no more than 100 to 200 people whose reputations we can keep in mind. Our brains have “special memory cells” designed to store the image of specific individuals along with their reputations, or in other words, our expectations of their behavior. We find it amusing, unsettling, or intriguing when these individuals do something that contradicts the image we have formed in our minds—even if it’s just a new hairstyle. People have learned to exploit these memory cells, and now, for most, they are filled not with people but with brands, symbols, and politicians. The actual number of acquaintances we can say something about shrinks to 5 to 15 people. Genuine connections are replaced by virtual ones that mean nothing. Ultimately, a person becomes lonely and unable to engage in collective actions, despite their apparent involvement in society. For you, this means that you should value and cultivate personal connections and constantly reflect on whether you are engaging in stereotypical thinking in response to symbols, such as a clothing brand. It means that if a person starts to associate themselves with a certain brand, it indicates that they want to appear as someone they are not. For example, people buy BMWs simply because the company has created a specific brand image and, accordingly, expectations about the behavior of its drivers. It also means that you never truly know anything about public figures beyond what reaches you through the media. In other words, you are forced to evaluate a symbol with a human face rather than the person themselves. The commandment “Do not make for yourself an idol or any likeness…” has a much deeper meaning than just a rejection of paganism.
236. Reputation is simply the expectation of interaction based on one’s own and others’ experiences. It cannot be detached from the very essence of interaction and cannot be “good” or “bad” just like that. However, we can talk about good dentists, plumbers, friends, and lovers. The mathematical framework of game theory shows that it is important for people to maintain their reputation and be predictable to those around them. Even if that reputation is that of a villain. At the very least, because reputation becomes a separate resource that can be exploited. Just having a reputation as a good boxer is enough for bullies to avoid confronting you. A specific skunk cannot defend itself from a bear with its stinky secretions. But its reputation makes bears steer clear of skunks. This implies that in any stable group of people, there will always be someone labeled as the “smart one,” someone called the “clown,” someone who is a “sycophant,” someone who is a “tattletale,” and so on. The process of assigning individuals to specific roles is self-reinforcing and depends on some minor fluctuations at the initial stage. The departure of a role-holder from the group will lead to a redistribution of roles, and a “bully” can become the “smart one” if the “smart one” leaves the group. For you, this means that it’s not that you are “that kind of person,” but rather that this is your role in that group. Changing groups will always give you a chance to build a new reputation and occupy a new role. Never label yourself with a tag assigned by others if you don’t like it. For you, this also means that you need to be extremely careful in your behavior when joining a new group to avoid ending up in an undesirable role in the future. Additionally, it means that you can first work on your reputation, and then your reputation will work for you.
237. Inequality does not mean “worse or better.” At the very least, because “good” and “bad” are relative concepts that depend on context. Nothing gives anyone the right or reason to look down on, disregard, or show servility or admiration towards another person. Everything always starts with respect.
238. The rich will become richer, and the poor will become poorer. The knowledgeable will become more knowledgeable, and the famous will become more famous. The strong will become stronger. Simple game theory mathematics is enough to describe this effect. When describing more complex processes, factors emerge that make the rich even richer. For you, this means that a small advantage you have over others, whether inherent or created by you in childhood, will grow into a significant difference in adulthood. Every second you spend on learning and development now will elevate your level in the future much more significantly.
239. There are no objective personal factors that guarantee material success. It is never just the personal achievement of the wealthy. In “developed” economies, there are systems in place to transfer a portion of wealth back to the poor. This is not out of the generosity of the powerful; it is a way for the super-rich to reclaim money that, unfortunately for them, they could not evade in taxes. After all, all the money that goes to the poor on behalf of the state will be spent by them on goods and services. This, in turn, generates profits and wages for someone else, which will then be spent again on purchases. A penny given to the needy will return to the wealthy, multiplied at every stage of consumption.
240. Fish swimming in a school maintain the shape of the school using a simple algorithm: they try to keep an equal distance from their nearest neighbors. However, not all fish do this. Some “defective” fish dare to swim outside the school and venture further than they should. What do the other fish do? They adjust their positions to equalize the distance between themselves, the “defective” fish, and their nearest neighbor. The neighbors, in turn, also adjust their positions. As a result, the school swims in the direction chosen by the “defective” fish. Among people, most tend to act “like everyone else” and constantly look to those around them. But only those “defective fish” can achieve success instead of just being “like everyone else.” The sad part of the truth is that “defective fish” are more often preyed upon by predators. We simply do not see those who have been eaten, but we do see those who continue to lead the others.
241. In most cases, the only reason people listen to their bosses and obey them is that they believe these bosses have some power over them. But this power is based solely on the belief in the existence of authority. Most likely, you will have leaders, mentors, and supervisors in your life. You can almost always choose them for yourself. No one has a monopoly on power. Choose those you enjoy working with, those who don’t try to instill a belief in authority and/or exploit it, those who not only take but also give to you, and those whom you respect and would listen to even if they weren’t your bosses.
242. If you suddenly start thinking of a large group as “us,” using words like “our” and “your” in your speech, and you feel emotionally pleased by the success of “our” group and disappointed by the failure of “others,” then stop immediately. You have fallen victim to the most insidious manipulation that exists. There is never a “your” football team if you are not a player, “your” school if you are not the principal, “your” company if you are not a shareholder, “your” country if you are not the king, “your” nation if you are not the “father of the nation,” “your” language if you did not invent it, “your” religion if you are not a prophet. “We” always implies the existence of “They.” A handful of super-rich people will do everything to ensure that the masses do not go looting their palaces, but instead see the enemy or rival in someone else.
243. Don’t do anything out of pity. Never give to the homeless. They are often professionals or organized individuals who manipulate people’s feelings towards them. Look at the mortality statistics in your country and see how many people have died of hunger recently (the most likely answer: zero). By giving to the homeless, you encourage their way of making a living, but you don’t solve their real or imagined problems. When you give, you’re not doing a favor for one con artist with a pitiful expression; you’re harming the thousand people around you who are made uncomfortable by that con artist’s persistence. You’re simply paying for a performance. You won’t buy yourself the feeling of being a good person by giving money. You won’t rid yourself of any guilt that may come your way.
244. Don’t donate to charitable organizations; a large portion of the money goes to maintaining the operations of these organizations and paying commissions to fundraisers. Don’t help people from third-world countries. By doing so, you are essentially supporting the powerful in those countries, who can use your assistance to exploit their people even more.
245. In 99% of cases, any charity is a form of fraud and a manipulation of your emotions. Charitable organizations are essentially just selling a service to ease your conscience. Charity lotteries, auctions, marathons, sales—it’s all hypocrisy. Want to help “the children of Africa”? Grow up, adopt a child, and give them a good education. Want to help those suffering from AIDS? Buy bonds from pharmaceutical companies or become a pharmacist yourself. True charity is the domain of very wealthy people. They can genuinely change the world for the better. Do they want to?
246. Any idea is not real and therefore, by definition, a deception. A great deal of evil in the world comes from people who, obsessed with an idea, try to change the world to fit that idea. People create a lot of unhappiness for themselves by following an idea and wanting to materialize it, for example, when choosing a spouse, a job, or a place to live, raising children, and building relationships with loved ones. It is essential to be extremely cautious around ideologically driven people, regardless of the idea itself. This could be religion, a political ideology, or declared moral or dietary principles. Ideological people are often hypocritical; they use their ideas to actively or passively bully those around them. They want to appear good to others, so they skillfully repress and rationalize the bad things they have done or think. They project their thought processes onto others. They are often highly suggestible and therefore unpredictable. At the core of all this lies cognitive dissonance, the mismatch between belief and reality. Their minds are capable of coexisting with it.

Communication

247. Teachers often say that there are no stupid questions. Well, there are. In school, when you’re learning and it comes to studying, the answer to the dumbest question you ask can help you become smarter. But in life, you can learn a lot about a person based on the questions they ask. So, before you ask a question, think about whether you can find the answer yourself. They say that answers to questions are useless. Smart people don’t need them anyway, and a fool won’t understand them regardless. There’s a grain of truth in this joke.
248. In conversations with others, keep track of what you’ve learned and what you’ve shared. You should always aim to learn more than you say. Ask questions. Avoid questions that have straightforward answers (yes, no, a number, a color, a property). People enjoy talking, and you should enjoy listening. They will see you as a great friend and a wonderful conversationalist. In group discussions, don’t try to interject or draw attention to yourself. It comes off as pathetic.
249. Remember that you can always hear what is being said, but you don’t always understand why it’s being said. Learn to automatically think about the reasons behind what is said. An Eastern proverb says that a dog looks at the stick, while a lion looks at the one who threw it.
250. Don’t rush to interrupt someone, thinking you know what they’re going to say or that you understand their point. Moreover, don’t interrupt or respond automatically with phrases like “yes, I know.” Wait until the person finishes their thought and falls silent, expecting your reaction. Listen carefully to what they say and try to understand it. Assume, as a default, that you will hear something new. If something is unclear, ask a question for clarification. You’ll always have time to share your own thoughts later. If you correctly anticipate someone else’s thought and you disagree, allowing them to finish gives them the chance to either dig themselves deeper or to express something new that might change your perspective. Don’t automatically argue, don’t correct your conversation partner, and don’t contradict the general idea with minor details. If your conversation partners have more knowledge and experience than you, it’s best to remain silent, listen, and be grateful for their time and attention. If you think they are mistaken, check it yourself later in private.
251. When you meet someone new, it’s worth finding out about their parents, their education and what they do, whether they have siblings, where and what they work, what their own education is, why they chose that particular field, what their thesis project was about, what they enjoy about their current job, and whether you have any mutual acquaintances. Of course, this should be done gradually, without turning it into an interrogation. Based on their answers, you can sketch a preliminary portrait of their personality. For example, if they didn’t choose their university but were directed there by their parents, it suggests that they are not in control of their own destiny. If they can’t remember the topic of their thesis, it indicates that they are someone who copies rather than creates. The higher education of their parents can also suggest a certain level of culture in the conversation partner.
252. If you’re going to say something, be as brief as possible. It’s hard for people to follow more than one thought at a time. Think through what you’re going to say before you say it. If you were to hear it yourself, would it be clear and not boring? The plot or idea of any book can, if desired, be summarized in one sentence. Your events are no more complex. If people are interested, they’ll ask you for details themselves. You’ll likely be speaking in the context of an ongoing conversation. Your introduction to the main point should be so brief that people don’t lose track of the conversation and understand that what you’re saying is relevant.
253. In response to praise or compliments, it’s enough to say “thank you.” When asked about the reason for a quarrel or breakup, it’s sufficient to say “it’s my fault,” without going into details.
254. Brag to yourself. If you hear something from someone that’s supposed to provoke envy, play along, admire it, and ask for details. No one is interested in hearing that you, for example, went to Africa. But everyone loves to share their own stories about their trips to Africa. Just think to yourself, “Yes, yes, go on,” and ask them more questions.
255. The less you brag, the less envy you provoke. You also avoid awkward situations when interacting with people who have fewer opportunities than you. Don’t let them feel shame or humiliation. Stay quiet. You might need to turn to them for help someday.
256. People learn to talk and are able to converse because they enjoy it—conversation activates the pleasure centers in the brain. This is how nature encourages infants to use speech. If other animals found information exchange enjoyable, they would also start to talk. Just because you want to say something doesn’t mean that what you have to say is something others want to hear or listen to. It doesn’t mean that it’s beneficial or advantageous for anyone, including yourself. Everything you say can be used against you. Before you open your mouth, consider whether you will improve the silence.
257. Don’t correct other people’s pronunciation, grammar, and spelling. Do you understand what I’m talking about? This is the main point. Nitpicking about literacy is worse than reminding a disabled person that they have one leg. Your nitpicking about others’ literacy comes across as a desire to find superiority over others in something, no matter how small.
258. Don’t show that you know the joke your conversation partner is telling.
259. It’s normal to be ignorant about values or cultures that you don’t share. You’re not an expert. Therefore, it’s natural to feel dislike or bias towards their representatives. It’s also normal, in the heat of the moment, to view outsiders—those of a different religion, gender, or sexual orientation—with prejudice and suspicion. However, it’s important to understand that this is instinctive behavior driven by your ignorance. What isn’t normal is failing to control it. Just like going to the bathroom—it’s normal. It’s not normal to do it in public or to lose control.
260. You shouldn’t judge a person based on how they occupy themselves in bed.
261. It is not a reason for pride if it is not your achievement: the color of your skin, your background, the language you speak, your gender. Such things are celebrated by those who have nothing else to be proud of.
262. If you suddenly decided that belonging to a certain category makes you better, that’s not true. Rather, such belonging obligates you to be better.
263. Your judgments about other people, your assumptions about their possible actions, and your biases can reveal a lot about you and your motivations. Don’t speak or assume bad things about others out loud. Don’t attribute motivations to people. The children’s saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is quite profound. If you’re pressured to express an opinion, talk not about people, but about phenomena or ideas.
264. Show respect to everyone you have a relationship with. If you don’t respect someone, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. So, before you start being disrespectful, end the relationship.
265. Don’t be afraid to apologize if you’re wrong. Expressing genuine regret about what happened, along with an acknowledgment of what upset the person who was offended, is far more valuable than holding onto any principles.
266. Your resentment is often not about another person, but rather an unpleasant realization that things are not as you would like them to be. Frequently, the source of your resentment lies within you, and the people who have hurt you have simply triggered that source or reacted aggressively to it. People often resort to feeling offended as a defense of their self-image. An offended person automatically starts to feel “in the right” and waits for the offenders to acknowledge their wrongdoing.
267. Don’t take offense and hold grudges against people. Everyone is different and can hurt you. If they did it unintentionally, just provide feedback, let them know what specifically upset you, and say that you hold no ill will because you understand it wasn’t intentional. Discuss how to avoid such situations in the future. However, if they did it on purpose, then those people simply don’t belong in your life. There’s no room for resentment, but there is room for gratitude: “Thank you for showing me that you’re not a good person before it became too late.” If the person who hurt you intended to do so, don’t give them the satisfaction of achieving their goal.
268. There is often an opportunity to discuss what you dislike about another person’s behavior. It’s important not to accuse or blame them. Avoid making judgments or attributing motivations. Instead, simply present the facts that upset you, without emotional evaluation, and refrain from using words like “always” and “never,” while providing precise references to specific events. Then, explain what exactly concerns you. This should not come across as the other person’s actions towards you, but rather as your feelings and emotions in response to the mentioned facts.

     Next, it’s crucial to understand why this person’s behavior affects you so deeply. What internal need of yours is not being met? Finally, frame your request in terms of specific actions that could improve the situation. It’s best to phrase the request as a mutual agreement that benefits both parties. And of course, don’t just talk; ask questions, seek feedback, and inquire about possible solutions to the problem.

269. One can draw an analogy between Russian natural gas and human relationships. Both are difficult to initiate and very easy to terminate. And, most importantly, neither can be returned to a “good state” once it’s gone. Often, people, like an offended Putin, use gas as a means of blackmail, trying to manipulate those around them with their attitude. They allow themselves to change their attitude towards others, using it as a weapon in response to perceived slights. One shouldn’t be surprised by the consequences. Sooner or later, people will stop buying gas from Putin, just as they will stop valuing unstable relationships.
270. Information is what the other person understood, not what you communicated. Be careful in your choice of words, and make sure that the meaning you intended was understood correctly. Ask your conversation partner what they understood. Before conveying a message, consider whether the recipient might derive meanings that you wouldn’t want to convey.
271. You can be judged by what interests you and what you think will interest others.
272. You won’t be able to handle the group’s dislike for you. But you can talk to and befriend each member of the group individually, and that dislike will fade away on its own.
273. Don’t give free advice. Stay silent until you’re asked. Don’t worry, you will be asked. And if you’re not asked, it means your opinion wouldn’t have been important. Education costs money. There’s no need to give it away for free to those who aren’t dear to you.
274. Don’t try to talk to those who don’t hear or listen to you. Especially, don’t try to (re)convince them. Be quiet, agree, and change the subject.
275. You can argue your point for a long time and with great effort to someone who is already emotionally set against you and blames you for something. All your attempts will only lead to your interlocutor becoming even more convinced of what they have already decided. In the end, this will result in them remembering the negative emotions you caused and your attempts to justify yourself for a longer time and more vividly. Facts are forgotten if they are not backed by emotions. If it’s important for you to deal with this person in the future and your reputation matters, the best thing you can do in such a situation is to express your position, if you’re allowed that luxury, just once and then remain silent.
276. By not responding or reacting, you are not accepting the accusations. If an agitated person demands feedback, for example, by asking provocative questions that escalate the situation or seeking justifications—just walk away. Their opinion about why you chose not to respond and to leave shouldn’t concern you. They don’t care about your opinion either.
277. When you’re talking to someone, plan the conversation in advance and clearly understand its purpose. Don’t ask questions just to reassure yourself, like asking a butcher, “Is the meat fresh?” In most cases, questions like “why” and “what for” are pointless. The other person will either find an answer or make one up, and you won’t know what to do with that answer. Often, such questions carry a hidden aggression and imply suspicion about the other person’s intelligence, or they serve as introductory questions for a further attempt to show that you are superior in some way. All of this is unproductive and unpleasant for the other person. Ideally, you should have a branching conversation tree prepared in advance so that the other person never disagrees with you.
278. If a person’s consent is important to you and they can say “no,” the worst thing you can do is start asking “why not.” This gives the person the opportunity to convince themselves of their reasons for saying “no.” They will articulate and rationalize their point of view. It’s better to ask “why yes.” However, this question is inappropriate after someone has said “no.” Therefore, before trying to gain consent, you should ask questions that lead them to answer positively to all the components of “why yes” before you ask the main question. For example, ask them what they would gain or how they would benefit from something, what problems they have regarding it, what solutions they see, and why they haven’t managed to solve this problem yet, and so on. If you can’t get a “yes” on those components, you might as well not bother asking the main question. The person won’t remember that you made them an offer they declined, but they will remember that they were talking to a reasonable and thoughtful person. If you’re short on time and need to find out quickly, phrase your question in a way (like “What if…,” “What do you think about…”) that allows you to agree with their opinion in case of a refusal, saying something like, “Yes, I don’t see the benefit in that either,” or “Yes, if I were in your position, I would do the same.”

Values

279. If it’s not a matter of life and death, never make decisions solely based on money. A carrot is no different from a stick; it’s just a form of manipulation and coercion. A carrot works as a reward only for someone who is already satisfied. For the hungry, a carrot is a shackle. Extra money won’t make you happier or more secure. You’ll just be able to buy more expensive things while maintaining their functionality. Those who control you with a carrot are least interested in you being able to save money, become secure, happy, and stop working for them. You’ll hear many tales about “success,” but the chances of a poor person truly becoming wealthy—whether they work for a salary or run a small business—are extremely slim. When choosing a job, understand that salary is not a reward; it’s a basic condition, like access to a restroom and clean air. It should simply be at the level you require and remain outside the scope of your choice. If your parents suddenly decide to reward you for your grades, those rewards should be the last reason for you to study well.
280. Most of the truly important things are free. We often don’t appreciate them because we can’t imagine life without them. The world is full of artificial and unreal entities. Others try to make you believe that something is valuable, so you spend your time and resources on it. Most things that seem valuable to you are actually not real or their value is fleeting. Many things appear real only because everyone or most people believe in their existence. People strive to give reality to unreal things. For example, there are no countries; the borders of countries are not visible from space, and if everyone suddenly forgot that a country exists, it would cease to exist. That’s why people invent flags and anthems. There is no nation, so they create passports. There is no god (in the material world), so they build temples and invent complex rituals performed in elaborate clothing. In general, any idea inevitably acquires material attributes. Symbols, logos, brands, and names mean nothing and have no real value.
281. If you want to spend your free time well, you always need to put in some effort. Rest without effort isn’t quality rest; you won’t truly relax or have fun. Even organizing a trip to the movies for yourself and maybe someone else is much more fulfilling than just spending the evening on the couch watching a series.
282. In the theory of inventive problem solving, it is stated that the absence of any part is better than the part itself, provided that the function is still fulfilled. Anything always incurs associated ongoing costs. Even if something is just sitting in a storage room, it takes up space that costs money. The best alternative to any item is its absence. Better than a good suit is the lack of need to wear it. Better than a car is a lifestyle in which it is unnecessary. Better than owning a home is the opportunity to travel your whole life. Better than money is the ability not to spend it, and so on.
283. When making decisions about purchasing items, think not about the item itself, but about the function you need. The function is often not obvious. For example, you don’t need a shelf for storing CDs, but you do need quick access to your music. So instead of a shelf and discs, consider a music player or even a cloud service. The less you pay to obtain the function, the more you gain.
284. It’s absurd to create or emphasize your individuality and uniqueness through the purchase of mass-produced goods, no matter how much advertising tries to convince you otherwise.
285. Don’t borrow money. Especially not with interest. Not even for a mortgage. There’s no financial sense in a mortgage compared to renting. Owning a home is just an emotion. A renter is more free and takes on less risk than a homeowner. Additionally, your housing needs (size and location) will change every 5 to 10 years. Construction and renovation technologies are also constantly evolving. Buying a “universal” solution on credit for the next 20 years seems clearly pointless.
286. Don’t be shy about second-hand items. They will cost much less than new ones while providing almost the same utility. Plus, you can often sell them later for nearly the same price you paid. Of course, you should avoid buying used items related to hygiene, like upholstered furniture. If you suddenly need something, check free classifieds first. Some of your acquaintances might consider this “unprestigious.” Remember, you shouldn’t care about the opinions of others. Giving items a second life is a responsible approach to the environment.
287. If you haven’t used an item in over a year, consider the chances that you’ll use it in the next year. Slim? Sell it on the secondhand market. You can always buy the same thing again on the secondhand market next time. Even if you sell it for cheap, you’ll still free up space in your life from unused clutter.
288. Don’t read the news. Don’t watch television. Don’t use social media. There’s nothing there that truly matters to you. People who post about themselves on social media are unhappy and seek validation from others about their real or fabricated success. Light information, like sugar, creates addiction and atrophies your brain. There are many things in the world that are better left unknown, but you will be bombarded with knowledge about them to manipulate you. Everything that is important to you will reach you, either despite the news or through your friends. Communicate with the people who matter to you in person, or at most, in group chats with fewer than 10 participants.
289. Without hesitation, stop watching a movie, listening to music, reading a magazine, playing a video game, or watching a sports event if a loved one offers to talk. Live communication is unique and cannot be replaced by anything. It is what truly makes up your life. Don’t lose touch with your family.
290. Learn to read a lot of books.
291. Learn to love complex music. It brings much more pleasure than simple music.
292. Many movies, cartoons, and video games are just rehashed information. Someone else has already created them, and you’re feeding off the scraps of someone else’s thought process. It’s much more interesting to create such things yourself.
293. Distinguish between films and books that aim to show you something and those that want to tell you something. Just as an artist uses a canvas to create a painting, in good films and books, the author uses the plot as a means to convey thoughts to the viewer and reader or to provoke their own thoughts. In poor works, however, the author focuses on the world they have created, on the spectacle, and on the actions of the characters, effectively forcing you to indulge in their fantasies. In very bad works, the plot itself suffers from a lack of logic, unclear character motivations, contrived plot devices, and deus ex machina, where new elements are introduced into the world created by the author that were not previously known.
294. Every genre of art is valuable for what can only be realized within it. Theater is intriguing for its interactivity, the mutual influence between the audience and the performers, the ability to see the entire stage at once, and the captivating sets, music, and lighting. Film is interesting for its shooting techniques and the composition of shots. A book is fascinating for its ability to describe what cannot be shown. Animation is unique in that it can depict things that are impossible in live-action film, like seeing little birds fluttering around a bumped head. Cartoons that are redrawn from the movements of live actors seem absurd. Adaptations of books are often unsuccessful. A play shown on television appears flat. And a photograph of a painting or an architectural masterpiece is simply dull.
295. Quality food doesn’t need additives to mask or enhance its flavor. With melted cheese, smoked bacon, soy sauce, mayonnaise, or ketchup, you could even eat sawdust.
296. If you’re troubled by a loss or someone’s behavior, try to translate the essence of the problem into money. Often, you’ll find that the cost of your worry is greater than the value of the damage. The less you worry about trivial matters, the more internal resources you’ll have left for what truly matters. There’s a good Jewish saying: “Thank you, Lord, for taking it in money.”
297. When you worry about something and feel stressed, it doesn’t mean you care about whether something happens. Stress is unproductive. Care is productive. Try rephrasing your worry from “I’m worried about something” to “I care about something.” The essence of care is that it is a relaxed action. The very word “care” evokes quiet and calm associations. However, the more things you care about, the less valuable and effective your care becomes.
298. Almost everything that irritates you or causes you discomfort depends solely on your attitude towards it. You can’t change the circumstances, but you can change your attitude towards them. If a friend is late for a meeting, it might annoy you. But if you yourself are not ready to leave the house yet, you might actually be grateful for their delay. So, the irritation is within you, not your friend’s fault. If something bothers you, just imagine the context in which you would be happy about it. In general, you need to learn to manage your emotions and even try to turn them off like a light switch — it works. We constantly argue with someone — parents, relatives, colleagues. And the reasons for these arguments can be quite trivial. We might get angry over a comment on social media. But all of this is pointless. Anger cannot change anything.
299. “We buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t care about.” If you want something, ask yourself if you really need it, or if it’s just to show others that you have it. How important is it to you what others will say? How much pleasure will owning this item bring you in a week, a day, a year? How can this item solve your problems and help you achieve your goals?
300. Learn to make do with the minimum. It’s cool to pack a small backpack for a trip while everyone else is lugging around suitcases. They just haven’t imagined the trip in detail and have grabbed things “just in case.” You’ll always have a shortage of time/money/energy/experience. Stop whining. The less you have, the better. Limitations are advantages, not problems. Limited resources force you to get things done with what you have. You don’t have room for unnecessary expenses, and that includes your creativity.
301. Make it a rule not to buy the “last item on the shelf.” Often, it’s defective. Often, it’s the only item left and has been sitting there for a while. Frequently, it’s a “display model,” a product that has been in the window under the sun. It can also be an item past its expiration date. You are always left without options. Don’t regret it: if there’s something “last,” then it’s simply not meant for you anymore. At the very least, this rule will save you money that could otherwise be spent on impulsive purchases.
302. Don’t buy a product if you can’t return it. In general, when planning your actions, consider the possibility of reversing your decision. What will it cost you? Are you sure you want something that can’t be returned, or are you just burning bridges because you’re afraid of a future version of yourself that might change their mind?
303. When choosing a service provider, pay attention to the quality of their customer support. How friendly and attentive are the staff? How quickly can you get through to someone? Are they replacing people with bots? Yes, 99.9% of all issues are resolved through established processes, solutions are outlined in FAQs, and a bot will provide a good answer in 99.9% of cases. But that leaves the remaining 0.1%. Many companies, in an effort to save money, choose not to address these problems at all. They don’t care about their customers. So why would you want to work with them?
304. When buying things, think about how much it will hurt to lose them and what the chances of that happening are. If you don’t like the outcome of those thoughts, consider other options. No material loss is worth even a drop of your emotions. When acquiring something, be ready to lose it right away.
305. There’s nothing wrong with making economically unjustified purchases just for your comfort. Just make sure that this comfort is long-lasting. Don’t buy something just to have the ability to do something. If you need it, you can always buy it later. Don’t buy something just for the sake of owning it. Avoid buying things that are valuable not to you personally, but are considered rare, prestigious, or envy-inducing. Try to steer clear of purchases where you have to pay extra for the brand rather than for the actual user features.
306. The prestige of things can also be functional. For example, in some cultures, it is important to make an impression as a financially capable person during negotiations for a million-dollar deal. In this case, an expensive car, suit, and watch will definitely come in handy. These items are functional and pay for themselves from the very first day of use in such situations. However, the opposite does not hold true. Buying expensive items solely to create an impression and because “that’s what the rich do” is foolish. The wealthiest people often wear jeans and turtlenecks.
307. Things that you use regularly should be bought not when you need them, but when they are at a good price. Having a bit of a stockpile can help you save significantly. The same goes for money. It’s important to have some savings, for example, the equivalent of one month’s income, so you can spend less on living than others.
308. From an economic standpoint, the best gift is money. It has the highest utility. However, emotions and thoughtfulness are important too. Therefore, money is only suitable as a gift in situations where it has been announced in advance or is expected by custom. Equally valid as money is choosing a gift from a list created by the recipient themselves. Finding a gift for someone can be an exciting, enjoyable, and interesting activity. The budget for the gift, if the intention is not to manipulate, should be such that the recipient, if they truly needed the gift, would already have it. No one needs a second vacuum cleaner. No one needs a first vacuum cleaner if they haven’t bought one yet. However, there are items that are inexhaustible in terms of marginal utility (you can never have too much). These include knowledge and emotions. For example, books, magazine subscriptions or courses, concert tickets, flowers, accessories, collectibles, legal drugs, and symbols.
309. You have no reason to think that those who picked out a gift for you did so carelessly. If you don’t like the gift, there’s no need to show it. You should have enough wit to quickly come up with a reason why you needed it, how long you wanted it, and how much you appreciate their thoughtfulness.
310. Sometimes we start to love not those who treat us well, but those to whom we do good. It’s as if we fear losing our “invested capital” and end up getting even more entangled in such relationships. There are even people who think they can manipulate you with threats of withdrawing their future support. Let that go. You won’t be able to recover what you’ve already spent by investing even more.
311. You can’t experience the same high from a second dose as you did from the first. This is a well-known trap that all addicts fall into. But it applies to everything else as well: delicious food, entertainment, experiences, adventures, shopping. When it comes to fun and pleasure, it’s helpful to establish a rule to stop just a bit earlier than you think is enough. In a state of excitement or intoxication, you can’t objectively assess the limit of sufficiency. The moment you want just a little bit more—it’s time to tell yourself “stop.”
312. If you can “roll it back,” always do: a little less extravagant jewelry, a slightly simpler makeup, a bit less retouching and filters in photos, one item taken out of the shopping cart in the supermarket, and so on.
313. You will never make anyone happier by forcing them to act in a way that you think is right or better, even if you clearly know more about the circumstances. People’s happiness lies in the freedom to choose their own path and make their own decisions, even if those decisions are wrong from the start.
314. For you, happiness is the ability to control your future. Don’t confuse happiness with joy, fun, excitement, the moment of getting what you want, or achieving a goal.
315. If you ever have the choice in life to “lose everything but live” or “stay with what you have but risk dying,” always choose the first option. Never regret what you might lose materially. Be prepared for this at all times. Even those who have lost everything typically return to their previous standard of living within about eight years.
316. Most terrible things in life have been done with good intentions. Remember this and hold yourself back. Often, doing nothing requires more willpower and wisdom than doing something.
317. Don’t let even the best principles get in the way of doing the right thing. Creating principles for yourself or adhering to them is a crutch for the mind, making it easier to make tough decisions. It’s an unnecessary self-limitation that turns you into a slave. It’s an attempt to earn a reputation or find self-identity. Be expected by people in a different sense.
318. When choosing between freedom and comfort, choose freedom. Comfort will eventually become mundane, and you will stop feeling it. Comfort can also disappear over time, while freedom will be gone for good.

Work

319. Any achievement of yours is likely not solely your own. Don’t get cocky. Don’t revel in glory if it comes your way.
320. When people say that someone has gone through fire, water, and brass pipes, they mean that the brass pipes represent fame and greatness. Few manage to truly navigate the brass pipes without losing themselves as individuals, without becoming worse or more corrupted.
321. Any work you are engaged in is solely your interest in solving your tasks. The only company you work for bears your name. The problems of work are not your problems; they are likely your tasks. Or maybe not. Don’t take work too personally, stress out, or get overly excited about failures and successes. Moreover, without stress and fuss, you can achieve more and do it better. Remember that work is a way and a means to make your life more interesting and fulfilling, not the only thing that fills your life and serves as its sole interest.
322. Avoid using the imperfective form of the verb when describing your activities. Instead of “didn’t do,” say “did.” Instead of “wasn’t solving,” say “solved.” Incomplete means not done.
323. No matter what reasons you have for doing something, do it as thoroughly and carefully as you can. You will still make mistakes and inaccuracies, and the result will end up being flawed, even without your active participation, in the sense of conscious negligence and carelessness. However, if you work carefully, the mistakes won’t be critical, and the outcome of your efforts will be usable rather than something to be thrown away. Think about the entire chain of steps leading to the end of the process before each next step, not just about what you are about to do right now.
324. Quality, by definition, is merely meeting expectations. People attach a sense of prestige and elitism to the word “quality.” But that’s not the case. “Quality” means “satisfactory.” “Good” and “excellent” are when expectations are exceeded. Being too good can also be a problem. It’s worth thinking twice before trying to improve something that already works. Ninety-five percent of efforts are spent on the last five percent of achieving perfection. Perfectionism is a form of passive aggression towards others. Find a sufficient level of quality that meets the established goals. The floor is clean enough when wiped with a cloth and cleaning solution. Scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush would be excessive.
325. In life, the Pareto principle, or the 80/20 rule, applies. For example, 80% of the work is done in 20% of the time, or 80% of the work is done by 20% of the employees. This means that a large portion of efforts does not yield the desired results. However, this does not mean that we can discard the ineffective 80% and keep only the 20%. Those 20% will again split into new 80% and 20%. While 80% of students may not become scientists, they are necessary to ensure that the 20% who will advance science are present. Of course, in life, it won’t always be exactly 80/20; it could also be 90/10.
326. Focus on progress, not perfection. In real life, nothing is ever perfect. If you strive for perfection, you will likely end up disappointed and may lose motivation. On the other hand, if you concentrate on progress, you’ll realize that the feeling of making progress is a reward in itself.
327. Before asking for help, think about what you can do on your own. And do it yourself. Before asking for help, consider why someone should help you in the first place. What have you done for them, or how can you be of use? Don’t be shy about asking for help when you need it. There’s nothing shameful about reaching out for assistance. If you can’t find the answer in a book or online, don’t hesitate to ask your teachers or parents. They will be more than willing to help you.
328. Don’t give orders that won’t be followed. Don’t ask when you know you’ll be turned down. Don’t ask when you can’t be refused. Every obligation requires payment.
329. Don’t engage in plagiarism. Don’t claim the results of others’ achievements and ideas as your own. “Quickly solving a problem” often leads to a huge issue down the line. It’s a good practice to copy or imitate recognized masters when you’re learning something. However, copying means you’ll always be behind the leader.
330. Don’t be lazy. Working is not shameful. In a world where there is no physical labor that can harm your health, any physical work is no more than going to the gym, but it’s more productive. Any mental work automatically makes you better than others.
331. But learn to delegate. You can delegate tasks where the timing is not critical for you. If it’s technically feasible and economically sensible, delegate in a way that allows multiple people to work on it simultaneously. Don’t expect people to do what you asked in the exact way you envisioned it in your mind; have clear metrics. When assigning tasks, try to simplify them to their essence, avoiding conditional statements and feedback loops. Ask them to reach out to you with any doubts or resource shortages. Check in on progress midway through the allocated time. Understand that something done slightly worse or a bit slower, but by someone else, is always better than nothing done at all or something done by you at the expense of more important tasks.
332. What matters is not the result, but the process. If the process is structured correctly, a good result will come naturally. If it doesn’t, it’s definitely not your fault. If the process is flawed, it won’t bring you joy, and the outcome will depend on luck. Don’t do things you don’t enjoy just for the sake of a result. The result is a moment, while the process is time. It’s better to be happy for a long time than for just a second.
333. It’s absurd to evaluate the success of your work based on the outcome. Once you have the result, you can no longer change anything from the past. Think about what you can assess before reaching the outcome, so you can make adjustments if the anticipated result isn’t to your liking. Any result is a product of the process. Focus on the process and its components.
334. A person with a quality university education can easily be not only a scientist or an engineer but also a janitor, a store clerk, a teacher, a nanny, a painter, or even repair televisions or refrigerators, and even chop wood. A person without an education can only do what they were trained for in their specialty. They definitely cannot work as a scientist, engineer, doctor, or lawyer. Education provides freedom and flexibility. It gives you the skill to learn, making it easier to choose a different path if circumstances require it.
335. When choosing a profession, be aware of the risks and opportunities. A good motivation for selecting a career can be the desire to make the world a better place or to solve an important problem. A poor motivation would be the desire for fame or prestige. To become a movie star or an artist, you need luck and talent (or to be the child of a star). There is a high risk that you won’t be noticed, and you’ll spend your life depending on others’ judgments, which won’t make you happy. In contrast, you don’t need to study much for those careers. To become a doctor, you need education and perseverance. You have to study a lot, but the results are guaranteed. Even a less prominent doctor won’t struggle financially. To become a lawyer, you need to somehow “get into the club.” This could mean 20 years of hard work without any guarantee of success, or being born into or marrying into a family of lawyers. Skilled trades, especially those requiring high qualifications, are also well-paid. However, you are dependent on the economic situation and the level of technology. It can be harder to retrain, and you risk being replaced by a robot. It’s better to be the one who builds and maintains robots from the start. You’ll find it easier to gain a competitive edge in a profession that your parents are involved in.
336. You will find your calling and satisfaction in life where your passion intersects with the need for specialized knowledge and skills, which narrows down the competition for that work. A passion for music can be combined with acoustics and the creation of musical instruments, drawing with chemistry or computer graphics, games and puzzles with programming and artificial intelligence, and Lego with construction or plastic manufacturing. Your interests and life circumstances will change, which means your desires and professional opportunities will also evolve. Whatever you choose, don’t expect it to last a lifetime.
337. But don’t make what you love your profession. When you’re doing something for yourself and enjoying the process, that’s one thing. When you have to do a lot of typical and monotonous work on a deadline, that’s another. Compare the joy of photography for an amateur with the hard work of a technical photographer. Compare the pleasure of home cooking with making 500 cutlets by 9:00 every day. The best way to lose a hobby and even come to hate it is to turn it into a source of income.
338. When choosing to start your own business, be prepared for the fact that there is a 90% chance your business will fail in the first year. When we think about business and the possibility of success, we often look at existing and successful companies, but we overlook the fact that they are just a small fraction of the businesses that have started and failed. It’s a good idea to start a business when you have a solid first client, even if that client is yourself. It’s beneficial to begin with agreements and advantages that will protect you from competition in the early years. You should engage in business and investments only when losing the money you put in won’t be critical for you. Additionally, you should not start a business with borrowed money. Often, the foundation of a successful business is built on illegal or dishonest actions by the entrepreneur that went unpunished. This can range from tax evasion and failure to pay employees to bribing public officials, counterfeiting, fraud, and other criminal activities.
339. If you ever think about getting into politics or plan to build a corporate career, ask yourself if you have enough ruthlessness, shamelessness, treachery, cunning, deceitfulness, and sociopathy. Without these qualities, you won’t succeed.
340. Knowing languages is not a profession or a specialty, but a necessary skill. It’s just like driving a car. English is essential, but you also need at least one more language besides your native one. This will give you flexibility in choosing where to live if you need to move to another country.
341. Choose a job that will require you to constantly develop, gain new knowledge, and acquire experience. First of all, it’s beneficial for your brain and mental well-being; secondly, continuous learning makes you better than others professionally. Choose a job that you can talk about interestingly and even with pride to your grandchild while sitting them on your lap.
342. When choosing what to do, consider what benefits each activity provides as useful side products. Side products are great because they come to you inevitably and for free.
343. Use written communication as often as possible. You can always refer back to what was written and remember what you said and what others said. Use voice and video calls when you need to resolve something urgent, when emotions and intonations are important, or when you need to show something that is difficult to describe. The ability to write is the ability to think clearly and structurally. Be a good writer.
344. Before you start doing something, consider the following: What exactly will you be doing, what is the desired outcome, what are the key characteristics of that outcome, what are the key characteristics of the intermediate steps, when will you be doing this, do you have enough time to complete the work or its stage without rushing, do you have all the necessary information, do you have the right tools, do you possess all the required skills, and is your workspace in good order?
345. Often, teachers are not pedagogical and use work as a punishment. If you are made to clean the floor after class, do it in a way that shows you enjoyed it, and then ask if you need to clean another classroom. The likelihood of being punished with work again is extremely low. And if it happens, remember that work is fitness.
346. When making calculations and creating tables, pay attention to the units of measurement and always specify them. When drawing graphs and charts, label the axes. When creating drawings and diagrams, describe the symbols used. Do not make assumptions: if you do not fully understand the situation or the conditions of the problem, you cannot offer a well-founded opinion or solution.

Safety and health

347. Before starting any work, prepare your workspace. Think about what you will be doing, in what order, how accessible all the materials and tools are, and whether there is a risk of getting your hands, clothes, or the surrounding area dirty or damaged. How will the material you are working with move around? Do you have enough space, lighting, air, and warmth? Is there a way to collect waste and debris right where it is generated? Assess all the risks you are aware of. Perform all necessary calculations and double-check them. Look online for videos where experts do the same thing you want to do. Compare this with the idea of hiring a trained professional to do the job. Take measures to reduce or, better yet, avoid these risks.
348. If you are working with fire or heating devices, assess the likelihood of igniting nearby objects and the distance to them. If you are working at heights, consider what random movements of yourself, materials, or tools could lead to a fall. If you are working with hazardous liquids, such as hot soup or tea, evaluate your possible movements to ensure that the pot is not in your way and the cup is not under your elbow. Read the instructions. Do not rely on safety devices; they are for emergencies and may not function properly. Follow safety protocols.
349. Before cutting or drilling, measure everything once more. And then again. Use protective equipment if it’s appropriate.
350. Evaluate how you can return the situation to its original state if the work doesn’t go as planned. Do you have a backup plan? Make sure you have enough time to complete a stage of the work and leave any unfinished tasks in a safe condition. Once you’re done, clean up your workspace and put all the tools back in their place.
351. Strictly adhere to the rules for using the tool. The rules outline safety measures that will inevitably be unintentionally violated. That’s why there are many rules, and careful compliance with them will help avoid problems, even if just one rule is not broken. For example, when handling a gun, it should be kept on safety, pointed down, with your finger off the trigger, and a round should only be chambered just before shooting. Never point even an unloaded weapon at people, and avoid gesturing with the weapon. When receiving a firearm, check how it is loaded. To avoid accidentally harming someone, it seems that following just one of these guidelines would be enough. However, people, including you, often manage to forget 5 out of 6 rules, and some particularly gifted individuals forget all 6.
352. Before consciously breaking the rules, learn them and follow them. Only by understanding the purpose and reasoning behind the rules can you seek something new beyond their boundaries. The ability to break the rules comes right after the willingness to accept all the consequences of those violations. To create something new, you must thoroughly study the old.
353. Don’t panic. Panic makes problems worse. The same goes for fussing. The same applies to vanity. In many languages, the word for “vanity” and the word for “fuss” are the same.
354. If you need to store secrets on your phone, use the “double bottom” technique. Have a secret section that you’re willing to show if pressed. Underneath it, have another, “super secret” section. A cleared chat history in a messenger is already a clue. Modern phones allow for a functioning shadow copy of messengers. Always delete certain messages after a conversation that you wouldn’t want others to see. When chatting, assume that your conversation partner might show it to someone, either intentionally or accidentally. If necessary, use the disappearing messages option. Think twice before storing anything on your phone that you wouldn’t want to become public. Most deleted files can be easily recovered. If the memory card isn’t full, new files are written to new locations, while the space where the file was deleted remains unoccupied.
355. Use password managers and two-factor authentication. Store the master password for your password manager in a document that contains a long list of passwords. You only need to visually remember the beginning of the password to find it in this list. The master password should include similar-looking characters so that no one can use it if they accidentally see it (like O and 0, l and I, B and 8). It’s also helpful to add a punctuation mark at the end of the master password, so that someone looking over your shoulder won’t know whether to include that punctuation or not. When creating a PIN code, make sure to have any two consecutive digits the same. This will make it harder for attackers to read your code. When entering such a code, press the double digit discreetly and pretend to press another key. The master password recorded in the list should contain extra characters; just remember where and what they are. Do not use the same passwords. Do not write down other passwords (they are stored in the manager). Avoid having passwords that are generated by the same principle for sensitive services (finance, personal data, health). Do not create passwords yourself; use a password generator instead. If you need to share your password with a third party for any reason, change it to something simple and trivial before sharing. Then, after use, change it back to something complex. If you have the means to have your own mail server, it’s a good idea to have a separate email for each online service. If your email ends up with spammers or hackers, you’ll know who leaked it. Create digital copies of all your documents. Always use backups. Paper can burn and get lost. A digital document with a backup is eternal. Do not store backups in the same location as the original.
356. If you find yourself in a situation where it feels scary, shameful, or dangerous to tell your parents, that’s exactly the moment when you should talk to them. Parents are the first people on Earth who don’t want to harm you (normal parents, not alcoholics or psychopaths). Any situation where someone tells you or implies “just don’t tell your parents” should automatically raise a red flag for you.
357. Parents understand more than you think, but less than you would like them to. They may be wrong about some things, but the likelihood that they are wrong and not you is low. It’s more rational to listen to them. As you gain your own life experience, that likelihood increases, and by the time you reach adulthood, if you are curious and eager for knowledge and new experiences, it becomes roughly equal. Parents with a solid university education will remain relevant to you until you have completed your own studies, and even longer.
358. This doesn’t mean you can’t do things in secret from your parents. You have your own life and your own adventures. Just make sure you won’t be embarrassed to talk about it later, and that you won’t end up in the hospital. Follow safety precautions. Give your parents the ability to see your location. Let them know your plans for the day or write them down in a file that they can check if needed. If you don’t trust your parents, share your location with someone you do trust. In any case, someone else should know about your plans to meet up with someone or go somewhere.
359. If someone offers you drugs and you find yourself in a situation where you can’t refuse, accept the gift and say you’ll try it alone first. Ask what it is. Then read about it in an encyclopedia. If you have reasonable parents, ask them. Decide for yourself whether it’s worth trying. But never try opioids. They can damage your nervous system almost from the first time. This includes heroin, morphine, poppy straw, “smack,” and so on. Also, don’t use other injectable drugs. There are plenty of relatively safe banned substances in life that don’t cause addiction, so if you’re really curious, you can try those instead.
360. Wait until you come of age and never use substances in the company of people you don’t trust or with whom you don’t plan to have sex.
361. Most of the dangers associated with the use of banned substances stem from the very fact that they are prohibited. The mere possession or purchase of these substances brings you closer to the criminal world, where different rules and morals apply. You have no way to verify the quality, composition, dosage, or the presence of harmful impurities or residues from chemical reactions. The best way to reduce these risks is to use products whose quality you can visually assess, such as parts of a plant. Additionally, substances with extremely low dosages are safer than those requiring higher dosages. Impurities in microdoses, if present, are unlikely to cause severe toxic effects, and accidental overdose is highly improbable; it is also not possible to dilute a substance in a microdose with inert components.
362. If you’re not sure, don’t overtake. Doubting is always the right thing to do. If you have doubts, it means you need to understand the reasons for your uncertainty and assess the risks.
363. There’s no need to “burn bridges,” meaning doing something irreversible just to motivate yourself to take action, because there’s no way back. Keep the option to retreat open until the very end. Confidence is more productive than desperation.
364. Don’t try to motivate yourself through “commitment”: incurring serious expenses when starting something just to feel guilty about quitting later. For example, buying an annual gym membership or an expensive piece of equipment, or throwing a lavish wedding. If you think that this should be your only motivation, it’s better to stop altogether.
365. Always consider the worst-case scenario and be prepared for it. At the very least, you’ll always have good news. And when it’s time to make decisions, you’ll have a well-thought-out response plan ready. Always protect yourself. Vaccinations, sunscreen, data backups, your geolocation shared with a trusted person—everything matters.
366. Most fraud scenarios involve the victim’s vanity or their willingness to engage in dishonest behavior. The simple formula “You can’t deceive an honest person” works almost every time.
367. If you are making a decision about purchasing insurance, you shouldn’t spend money on insuring events that are likely to happen, unless it’s mandatory insurance for everyone. Voluntary insurance works well only for unlikely events with catastrophic consequences. Additionally, other insured individuals should not be able to assess their personal risk level.
368. Don’t gamble. Don’t take risks for the sake of taking risks. Don’t seek out problems out of boredom. Boredom is absurd. There are so many books in the world, for instance. If you understand the risk, be prepared to lose. Are you okay with an unfavorable outcome? If not, don’t start.
369. Riding a motorcycle is an absurd and unjustifiable risk, if only because people use seat belts and airbags in cars, and design vehicles to absorb impact energy. A motorcycle is stable as long as its wheels are spinning. This means that any sudden braking on a motorcycle will inevitably lead to it falling over and you colliding at high speed with an obstacle you decided to brake for. You also can’t swerve sharply to avoid a suddenly appearing obstacle on a motorcycle. Motorcycles are not visible to other drivers in their mirrors. Ultimately, riding a motorcycle is uncomfortable. And all the talk about the “spirit of freedom” is nothing more than marketing nonsense aimed at retirees looking for a way to regain their youth.
370. Don’t drink alcohol with those you don’t fully trust. Try not to get drunk due to inexperience. You can choke on vomit. The feeling of intoxication only sets in about 15-20 minutes after consuming alcohol. So, don’t rush with the drinks; wait for the effect of the previous portion before taking the next one. Don’t give in to manipulation when you’re pressured to drink quickly or obligated to toast as a sign of respect, love, or anything else. You always have the right to skip the next toast.
371. Do not provoke violence or crimes against yourself. If you get hit by a car at a crosswalk, it won’t make it any easier knowing you were right. It’s not worth putting yourself at risk by walking in unsafe neighborhoods. It’s wise to choose your clothing style carefully. You should lock the doors of your home. It’s advisable to hide valuable items in the inner pockets of your clothing. Avoid showing others how much money you have or what can be stolen from you, especially if someone is asking or provoking you to reveal something valuable or where it is kept. It’s best not to engage in arguments with aggressive or intoxicated individuals or to confront them unless you are completely confident in your ability to defend yourself and are okay with possibly ruining your clothes and risking your health in a fight. It is said that if someone looks you in the eyes for more than six seconds, they either want to kill you or want to have sex with you.
372. Make friends with your neighbors as quickly as possible, so that your friendship develops before any conflict arises. You’re much less likely to encounter problems with friends than with anonymous competitors for shared spaces. Additionally, friendly neighbors will be there to help you when you need it, and being aware of your life, they can notice if something is wrong with your home and raise the alarm.
373. Never find yourself in a crowd. It’s extremely difficult to get out of a crowd, and you can’t control the situation. Crowds are prone to panic. Even an unexpected rain shower can end tragically for those in the crowd. To avoid being trampled, never fall down and keep your arms at chest level, not pressed against your body, allowing your ribcage to breathe.
374. Criminals get caught by the police because they subconsciously want to. They play a game of cat and mouse. If you need to commit a crime, you must try to ensure that no one ever finds out. For example, when planning a murder, remember about surveillance cameras and potential witnesses. Keep in mind that your phone can be used to track your location. If you don’t take your phone with you during the crime, you can still analyze the subscriber database of phones that didn’t change their location during the crime. You can also look for those whose phone behavior was different from previous days. Selecting someone from that list who might have a motive and starting to suspect you is just a matter of technique. But no one can prove a murder if they can’t find the body. Be prepared to dismember the body in a way that leaves no traces on yourself or on surrounding objects. Blood will flow from a fresh corpse. It’s better to drain it before dismembering. Blood cannot be disposed of in the sewage system; there are reagents that can detect even the tiniest blood particles months later, even in places that have been regularly cleaned. After some time, the body becomes stiff and is very difficult to manipulate. You will have to wait for it to relax. The internal organs smell very bad and can induce vomiting. Your vomit on the remains is your DNA. In general, your DNA on the victim’s body and any possible fingerprints must be explainable by something other than murder. The best way to dispose of remains is to give them to someone to eat. Murder by poison is almost always traced back to the source of the poison, and thus to you. Technically complex methods of murder, such as staging an accident, reveal the technical skills and knowledge of the murderer, which means they can lead back to you.
375. If you are suddenly contemplating suicide, promise yourself that you will take that step only when you are in a good mood. This way, you can be sure that you are making a thoughtful decision, not one influenced by overwhelming emotions. Understand that suicide only highlights the value of your life to you. If life is not important to you, then there is no value in parting with it. But if it is important, then what’s the point in losing it? Most methods of suicide involve a time lag between the act and death itself. Research has shown that most people regret their decision to end their lives in the final moments. Don’t make your loved ones clean up after you, and don’t create chaos around you. If you are planning suicide, make sure that your body or remains are not found. Remember the possibilities of identification through DNA. If the motives for your suicide involve the reaction of others to your act, and thus the presence of a body, then you are not doing it for yourself, but for others. And you still won’t have the chance to see what it’s like when you die.
376. When eating at unfamiliar dining establishments, never order food that hasn’t been cooked or isn’t served hot. Don’t buy from places where the seller touches both money and food with the same hands. Assess the flow of customers; the products should be relatively fresh. Evaluate the overall cleanliness of the establishment and its restrooms. Be cautious with fried foods. Try to eat where the locals go, not tourists. Avoid places with one-time customers, like train stations and highways. When on the road, eat where there are more truck drivers; they know where to find good food. Only request water in a sealed bottle.
377. In countries where the water is not chlorinated, wash your fruits and vegetables and brush your teeth only with bottled water. Never use ice. At the slightest suspicion that something tastes off, stop eating it.
378. Don’t order something exotic at restaurants. The ingredients are likely to be stale. It’s better to eat what they can prepare for you quickly, what is the house specialty, and what other people are eating.
379. On a flight, if possible, order kosher food. It’s sealed. That way, there’s less chance the flight attendant will drop the cutlet on the floor and then put it back on the tray.
380. During diarrhea, you can die from dehydration. Bring rehydration salts with you when traveling, or simply drink salted water instead of raw water.
381. In hot countries, the most appropriate clothing is that which covers the entire body. Think about sun exposure, fine dust clogging your skin’s pores, and blood-sucking insects. Use sunscreen.
382. If you’re walking, choose the shoulder of the oncoming traffic, so you’ll be able to see the cars approaching you.
383. Watch your diet. Those who provide you with food are interested in you eating more of it. Some foods can be addictive, requiring a constant increase in dosage, affecting your mood, and harming your health. In some countries, such foods are sold in specialized “wine and pastry” shops. But more often, you’ll be tempted by them in places where you’re ready to grab them. Sugar and alcohol are easy to start consuming regularly and in increasing amounts, but they are hard to quit. Learn to distinguish between what is tasty and what is sweet. If something remains delicious without sugar, then it is truly delicious.
384. Our bodies instinctively prefer food that is easy to digest and highly nutritious. A feeling of fullness occurs when the stomach is filled. If you eat “concentrated” foods, you may consume the right amount but still not feel satisfied. Humanity saved itself from hunger by inventing bread—a tasty, easily digestible product that is much more nutritious than other foods. Nowadays, bread and baked goods have become excessive. We no longer work hard for our food, and we have access to other, higher-quality options. Birds should not be fed bread because they end up starving, refusing to eat more complex foods. We enjoy consuming fats and carbohydrates. We deliberately extract them from natural sources and then consume them in concentrated forms, in quantities our bodies are not adapted to handle. Chips, pastries, sweets, and even bananas, potatoes, and rice are easy foods that make our bodies “lazy consumers,” but they do not signal our brains to feel full when we need to. We are reluctant to digest meat, and vegetables start to taste unappealing. We prefer fruits that have been artificially enhanced for sweetness. We buy pre-peeled nuts, which we can eat in much larger quantities in a short time. We love pasta, potatoes, and rice. Then we find ourselves craving more, opting for juices and dried fruits instead of fresh ones. Next in line are cookies, crackers, pastries, cakes, and baklava—a syrup-soaked roll drenched in fat. If you’ve developed a sweet tooth or a craving for baked goods, understand that you’re a sugar addict, caught in a cycle that demands constant increases in dosage. A month of abstinence can work wonders. Carrots will taste sweet, and raw cauliflower will feel satisfying.
385. While you are a child and your body is growing, you are likely able to absorb all the excess calories that come into your system. However, it’s important to start forming healthy eating habits now. If you get used to consuming floury, starchy, and sugary foods now, it will be very difficult to change these harmful habits later, and you will gain weight that no amount of exercise will help you lose. Consuming simple carbohydrates leads to an increase in blood sugar and insulin levels, and once the carbohydrates are digested, you will experience a “crash,” making you feel very hungry again as you try to fill that “void.” Those who are accustomed to eating “simple carbohydrates” often experience intense hunger. Additionally, a constant excess of insulin in the blood leads to inflammation of the inner walls of blood vessels, which is a primary cause of atherosclerosis and a range of cardiovascular diseases. If you are not gaining weight from sugar and flour, it doesn’t mean that your cardiovascular system is not suffering from excess sugar and insulin in your blood.
386. Our food preferences are largely dictated by our gut microbiota. If it is accustomed to eating certain foods, then you will like those foods as well. To change your eating habits, it’s enough to eat different foods for a couple of months, and you will start to enjoy them, as your gut will be populated by different bacteria that prefer the new food over the old.
387. Marine fish accumulate heavy metals. Meat contains a lot of hormones and antibiotics, while vegetables have nitrates and pesticides. You can’t avoid consuming harmful substances. However, you can reduce their concentration in your body by diversifying your diet. A variety of foods also allows your body to get everything it needs.
388. Don’t eat when you’re busy with something else. You won’t fully enjoy your meal, you won’t even realize you’ve eaten, and you won’t be able to do what you’re working on effectively and safely.
389. Don’t run away from animals. You’re provoking a chase. If you want to get closer to something that fears you, don’t approach it directly; come in at an angle, as if you have a different goal. If you want to scare someone, openly try to catch them. It even works with a tiger.
390. Often it’s safer to trust a stranger than a close one. You have nothing to divide with a stranger. But be wary if a stranger suddenly offers you to participate in something. Even if it’s just a game.
391. Sex should only be with a condom. If your partner insists on having sex without a condom, that should raise a red flag for you. It means they are engaging in that kind of sex, which significantly increases the risk of contracting an infection from them.
392. Condoms can break. So, keep some “emergency” hormonal contraceptives with you for yourself (or your partner).
393. Sex with a new partner should only happen when you’re sober. If you’re not sober, put it off. If someone really wants you, they won’t go anywhere. A person who values you will agree to postpone sex until you’re sober. That way, you won’t regret your drunken decision later. Remember the importance of being able to say “no.”
394. Learn to cook healthy food. In cooking, it’s not the recipes that matter, but the techniques. By understanding the basic principles of food preparation, the processes that occur in ingredients, and how different foods combine, you won’t need recipes. The recipes you do come across will be ones you can critically evaluate and rethink.
395. When cooking, the time you spend on it is very important. A good home menu shouldn’t require too much time and attention. For example, baking in packaging takes minimal time (not counting the cooking time itself), doesn’t require serious kitchen cleanup, and results in the most nutritious and delicious food.
396. Learn to solve everyday tasks on your own: laundry, ironing, cleaning, clothing repairs, minor repairs, and installing plumbing, electrical systems, and computers. When you grow up, mom and dad won’t be around to teach you or just stand by your side.
397. Don’t trust specialists. Half of them are below average. If you value a specialist’s opinion, look for a second and third source of information. Often, specialists act opportunistically, being overly cautious or, even worse, looking for a reason to sell you their services.
398. Learn the basics of medicine and first aid. Don’t start taking medications without understanding their indications, contraindications, and dosage. Medications without contraindications should not be used for treatment.
399. Be critical of the recommendations from those who are not specialists themselves. Someone’s personal experience or impression is not a guarantee that the recommended person or company is a professional. Don’t give recommendations for specialists yourself.
400. If you can’t see the horizon or any distant landmarks, for example, if you’re in a dense urban area or in the woods without a navigator, you can always orient yourself by the terrain. Remember where and when you gained elevation and where you lost it, and see if that matches your understanding of where you might be. Go uphill if you need to get a better view, and go downhill if you want to reach people or clear landmarks more quickly. People tend to settle near water, and water is usually found in low areas.