Everything you see in me is not mine, it’s yours. What is mine is what I see in you.
— Erich Maria Remarque,
The world you live in, and the world each of us inhabits, consists of no more than what we know. We cannot imagine or truly know what lies beyond our understanding, and we are unable to see the limits of our knowledge, as the very notion of a boundary implies that we can conceive of something existing beyond it.
Imagine a dog’s world. There is no Gagarin, there is no algebra. It can’t even conceive that such things or phenomena exist. On the other hand, we are equally unable to imagine what exists in a dog’s world that we do not know. Everything we know about a dog is just that small part of its world that intersects with ours. Only a fragment of meanings and contexts. Words like “walk,” “ball,” “home alone,” “cat,” “neighbor,” “mom,” and “refrigerator” are the only things that are common between the dog and its owner.
We are unable to know how vast the world of a dog is in the parts that remain unknown to us. To us, a dog is a piece ofourFor us, a dog is essentially a part of us. We explain the dog’s behavior, the motives behind its actions, and its values solely from our perspective. We are completely incapable of even theoretically considering the dog’s point of view. Compared to our entire world, the dog’s world is very small. The dog is foolish and naive.
But on the diagram, the circles are drawn to the same size. And no matter how big the circles are, we are just a small part of the dog’s world. We are just as foolish and naive. Not understanding the motives behind our actions, she will see us as those who do incomprehensible silly things.
The same thing happens among people. The greater the difference in context, the less the “information spheres” overlap. For people living in country “A,” the behavior, motivations, and values of those living in country “B” will be completely incomprehensible. This is especially true if, in at least one of the countries, there is a well-structured propaganda system that operates on the level of contexts. After all, by changing the context, you can influence the recipient of the information. to perceive a signal with a completely different meaning.
And then it’s very easy to call other people non-humans. After all, there is so little common context with them, and the same signals lead to completely opposite actions. It’s better to rid the planet of such creatures.
Or here, a husband is jealous of his wife. He suspects her of infidelity, probably even without any reason. He simply views the world from his own perspective, where engaging with anything that moves is a desirable and acceptable action. This is within the framework of standard male behavior. sexual strategy Of course, he sees his wife and the motives behind her behavior only to the extent that they align with his own actions and values. Anything that doesn’t fit will be dismissed as nonsense or the infamous “female logic.”
Or the employer suspects their staff of stealing. This only means that they are simply unable to imagine behavior that is not driven by the deception of others. And if they observe such behavior, they will either think that they don’t know everything and are being deceived in a more sophisticated way, or they will believe that others are fools, or, to use the modern Russian business slang, “suckers.”
The way we perceive others influences the selection of our social circle. People tend to interact and work with those whose actions they understand. This selection process occurs not only from the individual’s side but also from the perspective of their peers. Only those who are willing to endure the sting of jealousy can handle the blame. In the company, only those who are not hurt by accusations of theft will remain.
If you find yourself wondering why people are so toxic, cruel, ungrateful, aggressive, mean, deceitful, thieving, selfish, why people lack a conscience, why all women are sluts or all men are bastards, why… why… why, it’s simply becauseyou.You see this in them. It’s that part of them that is also yours. You see yourself.