We have all come across calls in email newsletters to attend “personal growth” or “how to become successful” training sessions.
Many people worry about whether they have the right goals in life, how to achieve success, and how to become rich and famous. Here are some titles of training programs: “In Search of Truth: The Path to Yourself,” “Unleash Your Talents: Realize Your Dreams,” “Personal Coaching,” “Master of Your Destiny,” “How to Attract Money into Your Life.” Meanwhile, all successful people share one common trait: none of them attended such training programs. Additionally, all these training sessions have one thing in common: they tell you what to do but not how to do it. Any “strategic” therapy in the style of “You little mice need to become hedgehogs” is generally effective only for the trainers themselves, not for the trainees. No matter how well-intentioned the training programs are or how right the topics discussed may be, their impact is temporary. Teaching someone about life is much more complex than teaching them a language. Yet, we study a language for years, while we are expected to learn about life in the span of a single seminar. And even after learning a language, we still tend to forget it over time.
Now let’s talk about goals in life. To understand what the right and worthy goals in life are, we first need to grasp what life actually is. Why are trees considered alive while stones are not? Why do we see ourselves as living beings but do not consider a comet in space to be alive? I like this definition: life is a material system that synthesizes similar material systems. Or, from… Wikipedia “Life is a process of reproduction and evolution, driven by the ability to remember acquired traits” — this also fits into our narrative. The most important thing we need to understand is that any living organism, in the course of its existence, creates another similar organism from the surrounding resources and transmits to it the program of action by which it itself existed, that is, the program for creating another living organism and passing that program on. The priest had a dog… Life on Earth began a long time ago, and over one and a half billion years, all organisms that, for one reason or another, lacked a reproduction program simply did not survive to this day. Additionally, those living organisms whose reproduction is ineffective are constantly filtered out by natural selection. How is the effectiveness of one organism measured against another? By the number of individuals in the next generation, and nothing else.
Let’s take a closer look at the “classic” life goals that people set for themselves. For example, the goal of making money, buying an island, and living there so that no one bothers you, and you don’t bother anyone, while not having to think about tomorrow. In fact, you can achieve the same goal much more simply—by dying. Dreams of this kind are, in reality, dreams of death. Let me explain. We are living biological systems, and death is foreign to us. The mind, sooner or later, realizes that everything in this world is vanity and that life is devoid of meaning, and it seeks an escape from life. However, a more ancient “monitoring system” “rationalizes” this departure and presents images of either a deserted island, a private yacht, a forest ranger’s cabin in the wilderness, or an explorer’s jeep in a distant desert. As we can see, a person who has managed to realize such a dream will likely grow tired of it within three days and will hardly be happy in their “paradise on earth.” People who constantly dream of such beautiful and distant goals are, in fact, also dreaming of death and, of course, are not happy with their aspirations. They perceive all the typical manifestations of life—namely, the constant daily struggle with the environment—not as a sign that they are alive, but as a sign that something is bothering them.
Another typical life aspiration is money and wealth. I have seen few rich happy people and many poor happy ones. However, after reading the very first thesis about the goals of any living system, we understand that wealth is not the goal, but merely a means to achieve it. If a person doesn’t know what to do next after becoming wealthy, they can experience a serious internal crisis. A striking example of such a crisis and search for meaning is the behavior of Ostap Bender after he received his million from Koreiko. By the way, Koreiko also didn’t seem happy, whether he had a million or not. Fame and recognition are also means, not goals. Of course, the chances of effectively passing on one’s genes to the next generation are much higher for the wealthy and/or famous, and by striving for wealth or fame, we increase our chances of that transmission. But if, in the end, we have just as many grandchildren as someone who is less wealthy and famous, then what was the point of all those aspirations? People are tormented by anguish, uncertainty, doubts, and depression. They seek escape in drugs, alcohol, and debauchery. They travel to far-off lands in search of answers to the seemingly obvious questions of “what’s next” or “what’s the point of it all.”
When considering your short-term aspirations and setting long-term goals, always think about whether achieving a particular goal enhances your main life pursuits as a biological system. Each of us has different opportunities. You cannot be less happy simply because you are poorer than someone else or have fewer options. A frog is not less unhappy compared to a dog. However, you can be happier by making the most of the opportunities you have.
Evolution continues even now, and nature is much wiser than we are. In our pursuit of material wealth, we forget that the habit of seeking material well-being primarily affects the number of our descendants. By choosing one child plus a car instead of two children, we activate the mechanism of natural selection, according to which, in the end, those who choose to have more children but fewer comforts for themselves will remain on this planet. What is happening in Europe? An influx of migrants with a culture that is “alien” to Europeans? Is European culture really that great if it simply cannot withstand the basic test of survival? Are “European” values truly that valuable? What we dislike—the pursuit of the “golden calf,” the dominance of television, the promotion of artificial values, the consequences of online games featuring level 80 elves, the rise of destructive, “pathological” feminism (which has nothing to do with the idea of gender equality)—is also displeasing to nature. It acts more slowly, but it is much more reliable and ruthless.
It may seem that this text is ultra-conservative propaganda and a call to return to “traditional values” like “ Kinder, Küche, Kirche “Of course not. A person is rational and capable of deciding for themselves whether to make reproduction their life goal. A person is also a typical K-strategy animal, where the species regulates its reproduction rate based on available resources and perceived population density. This regulation is expressed in the fact that some individuals of the species choose not to reproduce. Some become homosexual. Some find other ways to compensate for their sexual instincts. We choose our life goals ourselves, in any case. We just need to ensure that these are our own goals, not driven by envy, comparison with neighbors, or their opinions. We must make sure that we view abundance or material possessions as a means, not an end.”
When considering how to strive for our true goals, there is no standard approach, despite what is said in all those cheerful workshops. Some people say you need to focus on your goals and ignore the obstacles. Others suggest setting intermediate goals, while some recommend tried-and-true methods. However, let’s compare achieving our goal to climbing a mountain. If we take the shortest route, we will walk along the ridge. The path is difficult, there is no access to water, there is essentially no trail, and the risk of falling is high. If we choose to walk in the valley of the ridge, where there is water and shade and where it is easier to walk, we might encounter rockfalls, hit a “wall,” or completely lose our way, as we won’t be able to see the mountain’s peak. If we keep going straight up, sooner or later we will experience oxygen deprivation and suffer from “mountain sickness.”
So how do we climb a mountain? We traverse, choosing a route that is almost perpendicular to the direction of the peak, ascending ridges and descending into valleys, climbing higher before nightfall and then descending to the campsite to acclimatize our bodies to the altitude. We gauge our strength between rests, ensuring that the elevation gain corresponds to both our climbing plan and our physical condition. The path to the summit is not obvious, and often the direction of movement is away from the peak. There is no universal training for “climbing any summit.” Even for each specific peak, there is a choice between the shortest, the most beautiful, the most difficult, and the easiest routes. The same goes for our lives: there are no universal recipes, and the paths to achievement depend on our tastes and capabilities. In high-altitude conditions, a person conserves energy for each subsequent step, and the only question the climber asks themselves is: “Does the next step bring me closer to my goal?” If the answer is no, then the step is taken.